Let's Get REAL Together

Transform Not Conform

November 19, 2019November 19, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

November 19, 2019

As I looked down at my taco, thankful it was especially hearty this morning, I had an idea. I would do the unthinkable—open up the tortilla, spread out my breakfast, and eat it with a fork. It seemed completely ludicrous as I did this; however, I was able to take my time as I savored it. I was able to enjoy a normal forkful, instead of a monstrous mouthful. I was able to prolong my meal, not worrying about speed or size of each bite for fear of its filling falling out and spilling everywhere. I ate, peacefully and purposefully, relishing in this newfound novelty I’d discovered, enabling me to intentionally slow down something could have easily become robotic and mechanical. Applying the unwritten “code” on the taco-eating program.

At first, I didn’t understand the stares I received. Was there something on my face? Did I spill on my shirt? Then, as I looked around, I realized I was the only one “sacrilegiously” eating my breakfast taco. It was obvious this was simply odd behavior. Finishing scanning the tables in front of me, my eyes landed on a man seated off to my left side. He too had decided against the “traditional” taco eating tradition, and as he brought his fork up to his mouth, our eyes met. Briefly, a smile flashed across his face, an acknowledgement, if you will, of our unspoken bond before he took his bite. I returned the favor, raised my fork, gave him a little nod and smile in “cheers” fashion. Happily, I went back to enjoying my breakfast.

When I finished eating, I looked over again towards my comrade, and noticed he’d already left. I was slightly saddened, as if I’d missed an opportunity. Though we had not spoken a word to each other, I felt we’d made a connection. It was an “I see you” moment— a recognition and validation of the other. How much a stranger’s approval meant in that moment made me realize how difficult it is for us to go against the grain and do something “outside” of the norm.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2 NLT).

So often we look at others, longing for acceptance, and believe if we could just duplicate their actions, we too would be included, valued, respected. This type of conformance is not only confining, trapping us in a copycat mindset, it derails us from fulfillment of His purpose.

We only have one lifetime to figure out how we want to spend eternity. It’s up to us to step out, make ourselves available to receive His direction—no matter how outside of the box everyone else finds it. And in the following, we are perfect in our obedience, which pleases Him beyond measure.

All this from a taco, I know. His revelations come in unique ways for each of us. There was no mold when you were formed, my friend. When we will stop unnecessarily trying to cram ourselves into one?

REAL time

November 7, 2019November 7, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogether

November 7, 2019

White hot tears suddenly welled up, threatening to erupt. I was instantly back there, remembering with vivid clarity. My breath caught in my chest, and I thought, was that whole thing really only two months ago? I blinked. Despite my efforts, a single tear escaped, cascading down the side of my face. A visceral reaction to an inanimate object, something I no longer needed and donated, yet the mere presence of it felt crippling. The crimson cane, leaned up against the wall in a back room, stood there taunting me.

I’m thankful I no longer require its assistance. I’m grateful to have my mobility back. I’m humblessed (that’s humbled and blessed at the same time) God healed me, answering my prayer. While that debilitating period seemed to last a lifetime, it disappeared as quickly as its unwelcomed appearance, eleven months later.

“Don’t let it escape your notice, dear friends, that with the Lord a single day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a single day. The Lord isn’t slow to keep his promise, as some think of slowness, but he is patient toward you, not wanting anyone to perish but all to change their hearts and lives” (2 Peter 3:8-9 CEB).

In sharing my experiences with you, being transparent with the hard stuff, allowing vulnerability to show, I pray you feel comfort knowing you are not alone. I pray you realize God isn’t punishing you. I pray your heart will soften and release the urge to wrestle. I pray, wherever you are within your struggle, you will reach out instead of retreat. I pray, my friend, every anxiety about the “what, when, or why” you are experiencing will wash away as you patiently wait for Him.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14 NIV).

This is Lets’s Get REAL Together at its core. A community that fosters authentic Christ-centered relationships in the restless moments. A mindset, grounded in Christ’s grace. A place where you come whenever you need to hear His truths. A space where our secular lives and spiritual lives join together, solidified into singular existence.

In a society that tries to divide us with labels, we need REAL time. Release Each Anxiety/Lie. I have been there, my friend. It may not look exactly like your struggle, but when I was faced with mine, I actively chose a winning team. I sought The One whose victory had already been declared. I praised Him as He carried me through the storm. I want that for you too! Let’s Get REAL Together!

The Subtle Sin

November 6, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

November 5, 2019

When contemplating the gravity of God’s Ten Commandments, we tend to give more “weight” to numbers 6, 7, and 8 (thou shalt not murder, commit adultery, steal). If we abstain from these “big three,” then we foolishly believe we are obedient in following His commands. While this is partially true, we are obeying three of His commandments, the recognition that there are SEVEN additional and equally important commands gets bypassed, lost in translation, much less applied.

Today, I submit to you that I regularly and unconsciously break the tenth commandment. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Exodus 20:17 NIV, emphasis added). No, I do not covet in a lustful way, which is how I believe most perceive this commandment to indicate…as if an extension to committing adultery. Breaking this commandment is something I call the subtle sin. Sin we frequently commit without realizing it. Sin that doesn’t hurt others (or does it?). Sin that appears harmless until it’s cleverly hidden thorns wound you, deteriorate your ability to live in wholeness, and rob you of contentment. Please allow me to explain…

You shall not covet…Covet (defined by vocabulary.com) is a verb: “wish, long, or crave for (something, especially the property of another person).”

To not covet, is to not compare. To not be jealous of another. To be content with yourself, your situation, your surroundings. The tenth commandment looks a little different now, doesn’t it?

We compare ALL the time, at least that’s what I catch myself doing! Ourselves to another. Our current self to one of five, ten, fifteen years ago. Our stuff to our neighbor’s stuff. Our talents to someone else’s talents. We covet when we compare. Period. This is a difficult concept to swallow, especially because it’s something we all do.

We live in a fallen world, where we wrestle and are restless.

We are ravaged by a hunger for more.

We constantly crave others’ things.

We complain. We compare. We covet. We live a live life of discontentment.

Imagine this with me. A well educated man of means, living fat off of lies, wielding justice as he saw fit. A man both feared and respected. A man who was suddenly struck blind, dramatically altering life as he knew it. Now, this same man, suddenly redeemed, had his blinders literally removed, and began experiencing a significantly different and difficult life . While living out his new-found God-given purpose, he spent years imprisoned, yet continued joyfully praising His redeemer. Doesn’t seem plausible, much less desirable, does it? However, this is exactly how the apostle Paul learned how to live in obedience of God’s Tenth Commandment.

Paul writes, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Philippians 4:11-12 NIV). These words written from a jail cell.

“How is this possible?” you may ask. Why is Paul so content? What enables him to move past wanting, longing, and craving his former “comfortable” life? The answer is found in the next scripture verse.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 NRSV).

Paul experienced lives in extreme polar opposite circumstances, yet he actively chose contentment, gratitude and praise in the arduous–not through his own strength, but through Christ.

Can you fathom this type of peace? A life without coveting, craving, or comparing? An abundant life, glorifying Him, whatever the circumstances?

“Of course, there is great gain in godliness combined with contentment; for we brought nothing into the world, so that we can take nothing out of it; but if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these” (1 Timothy 6:6-8 NRSV).

My desire, in a world where coveting and comparing are commonplace, is contentment. Urban Dictionary states, “Contentment is true peace of mind and has absolutely nothing to do with any external pleasure or condition, but rather your attitude.” I want to live in this kind of joyful obedience. I yearn for this all encompassing peace. Will you join me, leaning into contentment and turning away from the subtle sin?

Growth

October 30, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

October 30, 2019

Infants are amazing to watch. Their growth with the first year of life is exponential. It seems like overnight, development happens. You can easily see changes as they are honed in and refined. Each day is a beautiful display of enthusiastic growth.

As we mature, growth becomes more difficult to detect. Maybe it’s because we are distracted. Maybe it’s because we are so set in our ways, we no longer hold the desire for growth. Maybe it’s because we the process has become so painfully slow that we honestly don’t recognize it.

Growth is gradual.

Growth takes effort.

Growth requires patience.

Have you thought about what area of your life you’d like to see growth?Where are you focusing your efforts? The screen I am currently staring at certainly won’t “grow” me; however, utilized correctly, it can be a vehicle towards growth. The time I spend, like bills in my wallet, have a direct impact on my growth investment. While the returns may be small and incremental initially, the longer they are deposited, the larger the return. The more I look, inspect what needs to be pruned and trim away where necessary, the more growth potential I see and ultimately experience.

You never know who is attempting to grow…or where…unless you speak up and ask. Your friends and family may not recognize your growth process, unless you are bold in sharing. You will not grow without focused effort, which can easily be derailed. You need to add in outside assistance as you seek to grown. If you don’t have support, or fertilizer, to fuel you forward towards your goal, you may never reach it. Transformational growth doesn’t just “happen.”

So today, I proclaim where I’m stretching and growing. I’m venturing out to learn about the video world, so that I can grow this ministry. This is uncharted territory for me, frankly intimidating, but is absolutely necessary if I am to continue obediently sharing and see real growth. Any divine inspiration started will make an impact. If this is where you are, my friend, I applaud you! I’d love to hear how I may support you. But consider this: how exponential will a divine inspiration realized, brought forth through consistent patient gradual growth, impact His kingdom? I don’t know…but I am child-like in my excitement to this process towards fruition.

Be bold with me! Share what are you working towards for the growth of others. It’s an incredible experience!

Details

October 28, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

October 28, 2019

I was recently asked to give an impromptu speech addressing this question: “What are you not seeing?” I took the obvious route. If I’m not seeing it, how do I know what I’m missing? Thinking about this today, my response would be different. I would say I am missing the details…

When I had sensory issues, it seemed I was constantly surrounded by the details. I heard noises and conversations with bat-like precision. I took in my environment’s colors with vivid intensity. My skin seemed to have more nerve endings, which had a dramatic effect on my body. Flooded with so many details all at once was both exhausting and exhilarating, at the same time. It caused me to pause. I had to in order to drink them all in. As I did, they afforded me great joy, often resulting in giggles. It was the multitude of details that made me increasingly aware of how much I was missing in my fast-paced “normal” life.

God is in the details. He brings importance to the smallest facets. His countless creations speak to the level of attention in His designs. They show the vast intimacy with which He cares for us. He not only wants us to share all our details, He delights in them (Psalm 37:23)!

It seems, nowadays, we don’t have a desire for details. They take too much time. They get in the way. They don’t leave enough wiggle room. We only want the highlight reel–enough information to get the “gist” so we can move on. Much like the Cliff Notes version for the books we were supposed to read in High School, or maybe that was just me in my immaturity.

I’m not sure about you, but I want to exchange my fast-action, wide angle lens for one that captures precious portrait details. I crave them again. I want to slow down, breathe in, and savor each bite, relishing in all that it has to offer. I want to stop and truly appreciate the craftsmanship within a butterfly’s wing, painted by my child. I want to go back to being methodical in my movements, preserving my energy for noticing those tiny treasures placed along my path. I miss the details, and the abundant joy that accompanied them.

“Open my eyes to see the miracles in your teachings” (Psalm 119:18 NCV).

For I know your details, Lord, are not by chance, rather are by your divine design.

Humble me to recognize them.

Help me to delight in them.

Enable me to share them.

This I pray…

Permission

October 25, 2019October 28, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

October 25, 2019

If you have children, you’ve probably filled out one or twenty of these during their school-aged years: permission slips. And if you have children like mine, they usually come home, bouncing off the walls, waving the slip in front of you pleading, “Mom, can I go please? It’s gonna be so much fun! I need you to sign this RIGHT NOW, so I can turn it in tomorrow P-L-E-A-S-E!” We’ll give the waving sheet a quick glance, figure it’s “all good” because it’s with the school, and hurriedly sign the bottom of the form with one hand while stirring dinner with the other. It’s a no-brain’er, right?

As parents, we should instill within our children the sense to ask “please” before making permission requests. We should have clearly defined expectations of what is “permissible” and what is not. We should nurture them to a point where they are capable of making their own good decisions, so when they are legally an adult, and not longer need our permission, they have a solid foundation to guide them.

However, somewhere along the way, between the “adulting” period and into the “parenting” period, our foundation no longer seems solid. We seek out permission again. “Is it okay for me to stay home?” “Am I a bad person for pursuing my dreams?” “Should I say speak up? ” And these permission requests are usually presented to the wrong people, if even asked at all. Somehow, we no longer feel we are capable let alone confident in our decision making. We look to society and hand over the gavel, allowing our permissions, decisions, and dreams be dictated by “them.”

Let me raise my hand first and admit to you, I have been there! I have allowed what “they” say to absolutely influence my decisions in what I do or don’t do. I have given permission to someone else to play a major role in my decision making process. I have handed over the reigns of my life to steer me as they see fit. I have willfully given misguided permission to DOUBT and FEAR, and they, on more than one occasion, have taken me so far off course, that I found myself in the desert. Left feeling inadequate. Bewildered by my surroundings. Uncertain of the very ground I stood upon. Have you been there too, my friend?

Why do we so readily grasp hold of lies instead of clinging to truth?

Why do we turn over, exposing our bellies, awaiting the sucker punch?

Why do we freely give permission to those who do not have our best interests at heart, who do not know us well, who do not deserve to be within our circle of influence the power to treat us with malice?

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14 NIV).

Our provision comes from whom we’ve given permission to. My dear friend, I urge you to be still, then decide today, here and now, who is best to allow permission in influencing your decisions, permission in directing your steps, and permission in the ultimate provision for your life. Would you rather someone who fights for you or someone you frequent fight against?

Perspective

October 24, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

October 23, 2019

We were sitting together, one night, my youngest and me, discussing the happenings of our day. I’d had a rough one and was lamenting all my woes. After listening patiently, this is the wisdom my child imparted: “You know, Mom, I get that you are frustrated things didn’t go the way you wanted, but here’s some perspective. You were still ABLE to TRY, and that is a huge victory! A few months ago, that wouldn’t have been possible…” I sat there dumbfounded. Such wisdom!

In a small group, a friend bravely asked, “Am I the only one who feels they have to justify being a stay at home mom now that my kids are older?” We heard the heaviness with which she spoke. The internal conflict of her heart. “May I offer some encouragement?” I asked. “Yes, please,” she responded. “You, my friend, are a full time health provider for four people.” She looked questioningly at me. “Your youngest, your oldest, your husband, and yourself. And you absolutely should count yourself, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be able to care for the others.” Tears streamed down her face. “Thank you,” she mustered. “I needed that perspective.”

In a brief conversation with a new friend, she proclaimed something for me that had been my heart’s desire for a number of years. “I thought of you the other day. The Bible Study chapter we just finished talked about rejoicing when it makes no sense and being more real. That’s a lot like your ministry.” My ministry? I have a ministry? I’ve simply been striving to obediently share…I wouldn’t have claimed “Let’s Get REAL Together” as my ministry, but she saw life of it’s existence from her perspective.

Perspective is defined as “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”

If you are editing a photo, you have multiple perspective options…conveniently displayed at the bottom of your screen for choosing. Oh if life were that easy! To be able to simply “select” how you react or regard something in an instant! Or tweak it, just to your liking, by adjusting the brilliance, color, or sharpness. We would become masterful in manufacturing precision-perfect perspectives in any given situation. We would be able to edit out feelings of guilt or inadequacy. We would feel comfortable enough to truly be REAL, release each anxiety/lie, because our perspective would always be “on point.”

My friend, this “magical” editing option IS available to us. If we align our hearts, minds, and words with His truths, then we would have the power to change our perspective, in an instant! It takes diligence, diving into His Word daily. It takes relinquishing what we think we know and seeking His infallible truth about who we are. It takes practiced discipline to take a step back (and sometimes a deep breath) before we latch onto or unleash falsehood. It’s all in the perspective, or lens, in which we view things. His lens is forever filtered by grace, love, and mercy. We need to become more familiar with seeing things through His lens, because it is infinitely sharper and more accurate than Apple’s latest offerings.

Adrian Rogers wrote, “Wisdom is looking at life from God’s point of view.”

Let’s become wise and seek His truth in our perspective.

I’m Sorry

October 18, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

I corrected myself. “I’m actually not sorry. I have no reason to apologize.”

Increasingly often, I find myself saying “sorry,” and I’m not sure why. Why do I feel the need to apologize on someone else’s behalf? Why do I feel the need to apologize when I’ve done nothing wrong? Why do I feel the need to apologize when I’m the one hurting, crying, frustrated, or upset? Why am I sorry?

If I’m honest with you, I will confess that a majority of my “sorry’s” are not actually heartfelt towards the receiver. “I’m sorry you have to put down your phone and come to the table.” “I’m sorry you have to help me.” I’m sorry you have to put away the clothes I’ve washed, dried, and folded.” These “I’m sorry’s” are covered in sarcasm and drenched in exasperation. They are not sincere nor do they seek forgiveness. They are knives hurled at the other person in a retribution effort for whatever “crime” I feel they have committed.

Does this make me mean? Probably…

Does this make me feel better? Briefly…

Does this help the situation? Not really.

These types of “I’m sorry’s” are not only unhelpful, they are unwholesome. And yet, they come out of our mouths more frequently than do genuine requests for forgiveness. They are used in attempts to make us feel better while intentionally jabbing the other. They are not kind, and simply put, they meant as malice, masking our true feelings.

No wonder we are so skeptical of everyone and everything! When what comes out of our mouths are not rooted in kindness, truth, and love, we become hardened, because we suspect everyone is doing the same. We build walls around ourselves and our hearts in protection. We hide behind carefully crafted facades so that we might feel safe and “in control,” when those very barriers do nothing other than keep us separated from the people we want acceptance from. Marinade in that one for a minute…

We must temper and soften our “sorry’s” back to their original place of an apology, or appeal for forgiveness. We must eradicate the ever popular “sorry not sorry” phrase from our vernacular. We must stop passive aggressively seeking to put ourselves above one another. We must remove our cloaks as well as our daggers. We must admit when we are wrong, even and especially when we feel we’ve been slighted in the process.

Wrong in our motives. Wrong in our words. Wrong in our behavior.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9 NIV).

I am sorry for my contribution to this spiteful act.

I will focus on the intention behind the words I speak.

I do ask for a transformation of my heart today, to more closely resemble that with which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy…and put these into practice, so that I may feel His peaceful presence (see Philippians 4:8-9 NIV).

Organized Chaos

October 16, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

October 16, 2019

Does this picture remind you of your life? It certainly does mine of late! Organized chaos. I even have a t-shirt that touts the phrase “Chaos Coordinator.”

Macmillan Dictionary defines chaos as “a situation in which everything is confused and a mess.”

I think, most of us, operate in this state of being, the majority of our adult lives. We try to cram more than is humanly possible into our over-scheduled days. We constantly fill our spaces with noise, whether it be the TV in the background, the radio blaring in our cars, or audio books spoken directly into our ears through AirPods.

When we attempt to multitask the multitude of things we’ve piled onto our plates, in addition to all the noise we are inundated with, we cannot possibly, rationally believe we can master any single one of them. We simply exist in a constant state of chaos: a messy and confused situation of being. A life remiss of peace.

Jesus told His disciples, “I give you peace, the kind of peace that only I can give. It isn’t like the peace that this world can give. So don’t be worried or afraid” (John 14:27 CEV).

The world, and all its things, does not offer peace. It may come “packaged” in a wrapper that would make you believe peace is within; however, true peace is one without worry or fear. Worry of disappointment. Fear of failure. Worry of worth. Fear of disapproval. Worry of capability. Fear of the unknown.

Worry and fear are never present within peace.

Instead of hiding our cluttered mess by closing our doors, instead of celebrating chaos as a celebrity status, instead of attempting feigned organization of our current situation…my dear friend, willingly hand over that with which we desperately clutch, in order to “save face,” because all we are doing in actuality is building more layers for peace to permeate.

The more layers, the more time it takes to feel its presence. Peace is a fruit of the spirit He wishes us to feast upon. Peace brings about lasting change. Peace disperses like the warmth of a fuzzy blanket sitting near the fire. Only His peace breaks through the cancer called chaos in our lives, freeing us from its cyclical chains of bondage.

Chaos is the complete opposite of peace. Why do we keep holding onto the very thing that causes us such strife? Why not dump our drawer full of deception and start anew? Refreshed in His preciously peaceful presence each and every morning until THIS becomes our new state of being! Peace can exist within: ourselves, our family, our home, our community…a place free of stress, worry, fear and chaos.

This is my desire. Will you join me in daily pursuit of His peace? I don’t want the world’s chaos. Just give me Jesus! Through the power of His Holy Spirit, may we invite Him into any places in our lives where we have tried organizing our chaos instead of handing it over.

Help

October 9, 2019by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

October 8, 2019

In grade school, we learned to raise our hand. Speak up. Ask questions. Request help. This such a basic lesson, and yet, one most adults have forgotten. We don’t raise our hand, speak up, ask questions or request help. We are embarrassed. We are prideful. We are stubborn. It seems we’d rather give up, drown, or fail before we did this simple task: raise our hand.

The other side of the coin is raising our hand to offer help. Some do this too frequently. Some rarely do it. Some don’t think they are “qualified” to do it. Some don’t feel they have the means to do it. Some believe another will do it. Some just flat don’t want to do it.

Whichever side you fall on, the reason we avoid help boils down one thing: doubt. We doubt ourselves. We doubt our ability. We doubt whether or not there’s a real need. We doubt…instead of asking or volunteering.

Everyone needs help, at one point or another; though we’d rather not admit it. But here’s the thing: we are human. We cannot do it alone. We get caught up in the mind battle of, “why can’t I just…”

Even Moses, the prophet whom God chose to deliver the commandments and lead the Israelites out of Egypt, needed help. When they were fighting the Amalekites, Moses raised up his hands, and the most incredible thing happened: God was there! He sent Moses help in the form of two caregivers (Aaron and Hur).

“As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up–one on one side, one on the other–so that his hands remained steady until sunset” (Exodus 17:11-12 NIV).

…and the Israelites won! Moses wasn’t on the “front line” fighting. He stood on a hill, arms raised, silently supporting. When Moses grew tired, Aaron and Hur saw a need and filled it… steadily holding up his hands. You see, we are all puzzle pieces in God’s master plan. We are meant to join and work together. In doing so, we are granted access to a larger picture. When we admit “we can’t,” He sends someone in His stead to help.

“Help each other with your troubles. When you do this, you truly obey the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 ICB).

Whether you are the one in need of help or one who feels called to help, raise you hand, my friend. He will use you mightily. He will strengthen you. And maybe, you will no longer doubt you are worthy of His grace.