Good – Let's Get REAL Together

Let go

June 17, 2026by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

It’s hard, being back at the hospital, though I’m not the one in the bed this time.

It’s hard, watching her lie there, not the same person from two weeks let alone a few months ago.

It’s hard, coaxing her to do the things she’d previously done independently, navigating things she shouldn’t now.

“Do you think God is punishing me” she shakily whispers–eyes closed, hand cupping her pale furled forehead. My heart breaks for her as I say, “No Mama. He is a good father, a loving, benevolent God. You have done nothing wrong. Your body is just fighting you.”

We’ve all been there. Why is this happening? What did I do? How can He let me suffer like this? I call her pastor on speaker, who also rebukes her misaligned thought.

Some might think this desperate plea is a lack of faith–I reject this as well. Whereas the words may indicate some sort of malice on God’s part, I believe this is an invitation for Him to draw nearer. The realization of our human helplessness. Our parched souls crying out for His super natural intervention when the well is empty.

‘Turn your ear to me,
    come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
    a strong fortress to save me.
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
    my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
    my soul and body with grief.”
Psalm 31:2, 9 NIV

When we are at the point of utter despair, we have maxed out our limit. Our last fingerhold no longer able to bear the weight of the situation. We grasp for something, anything, to rescue us. Alas, we are impatient creatures. Our need for immediacy eclipses all.

I have experienced this in my own journey–more times than I care to admit. It feels like a chasm separates me from Him as I fall further and further into the void. Where are you Lord? Why have you forsaken me? Again, not a condemnation, rather a line cast out into the universe.

And He answers. Every. Single. Time. It may not be in the manner or as expeditiously as we’d like; however, He is there. Waiting to catch you as you release your will and fall into His arms, which have been there the whole time. When it happens, it likely won’t be a cinema-inspired scene, inspirational musical swelling as sunlight floods through the parting clouds. We live IRL.

I started typing hours ago, in between the barrage of “normal” hospital interruptions, and here are the “cliff notes.” There was a push to prematurely discharge her (thankfully not in a life or death situation), but that might bring into context the “is God punishing me” since we truly weren’t outta the woods yet. In come her nurse, case manager, PT–in rapid fire succession, all supporting the decision not to ship her out. We work together, and lo and behold, there’s a “miraculous” shift in the right direction. God is so faithful!

There are many reasons to love Psalm 31. But while reading chapter 2 for the above pulled reference, verse 5 struck me.

“Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.”
Psalm 31:5

The words tickled my brain. I’ve heard this before in a different context. I go searching…here’s what I found. Jesus, before His last breath on the cross, said a variation of this as well (Luke 23:46). God incarnate, who was in a life or death situation, after also asking why have you forsaken me, let go and fell into His awaiting arms. He was human. He questioned. Then He committed His spirit unto the Lord. If this doesn’t show us how questioning isn’t a lack of faith, I’m not sure what does.

God is omnipresent, never leaves us, regardless of how many times we may feel separate from Him.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, I’m going to ask you to do something uncomfortable. Let go.

Let go of circumstances that seem out of your control.

Let go of what was so you can receive and rejoice in what is.

Let go of your immediacy expectations and rest in the assurance of His perfect timing.

He’s patiently waiting for you. The process is painful, for you both. Let go, my friend, and let Him.

In Jesus’ name, Amen

It is Good

November 13, 2024November 13, 2024by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Have you ever had an idea hit you so hard that you couldn’t ignore it? Itch that instantaneously grabs hold and grows, giving life to your skin, causing it to rise in goosebumps. Thought that ignites like a flash point and spreads like wildfire, to the point it simply cannot be ignored. *Insert raised hand * That was me this morning. Internally shouting loud enough that I skipped the Brooks and Dunn segment I’d been waiting for (don’t judge), I got up, grabbed my laptop, and now you are up to speed…

“On Wednesdays we wear pink” played in my head. Many of you, mean or not, might recognize this line from the now 20-year-old movie. Because I’m a sucker for alliterations, this quickly morphed into “on Wednesdays we write,” right alongside make the bed Monday (change bedding), towel Tuesday (wash towels), vacuum Thursday (ok not an alliteration but only other weekday that has a “U” because I don’t wanna do it over the weekend), finish it Friday (finalize any tasks/projects that may have taken over the house)…get the point? A mind trick that helps keep me on a schedule, while accomplishing something that needs to be done, and I use the word “needs” intentionally.

Society loves the saying and excitement generated when something is deemed an “overnight success;” however, all the behind-the-scenes work eventually comes out at some point. A man behind the curtain moment, if you will. From Genesis, we learn about creation. “In the beginning God created…” God got to work day one, and on that very first day, after speaking light into existence, “God saw that the light was good” (v 3). Three verses. There was nothing. God created (essentially turned “nothing” into “something”), looked at it, and recognized its value. Here’s the itch that sprang me to life.

How can I arrogantly expect something when I’ve done nothing? The very first five words in the Bible clearly show God worked. Let that sink in for a sec. Upon viewing His work, He knew it was good…because there was something to see. You can have the greatest of ideas, but without putting work into its inception, there is nothing. The world will never see or rejoice in your creativity. Work needs to be done, or it will remain forever formless in the recesses of your mind.

On Wednesdays we write. Today I am putting in the work. I see it in plain black and white, but oh the pops of colors are beginning to swirl! It is good. Thank you, Lord.

Our Dearest Friend

March 24, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

I have a daily 9am notification on my Bible app reminding me to be in His Word and pray. Today, the devotional centered around a very familiar verse, Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend,” which brought to light an aspect I’d not thought of before: the Holy Spirit as our dearest friend.

Admittedly, I am a private person, but I am thankful for those who break through, allowing me to feel comfortable in my vulnerability. The ever present Holy Spirit is most intimately privy to all my inner inequities, of which I have many. While I may not think of myself as a masterpiece, He does. In His omnipotence, He sees His completed creation and calls me “very good,” right from the beginning. This is also God’s vision of you, dear friend.

I’ve heard “you and your family have been through so much” more times than I can count…and that’s true. It’s hard for others to understand how I can say “it’s just another ‘is.’” The best way I can describe the easiness of this statement centers around the process. Any diagnoses or struggle is simply the springboard used to dive into the process of healing, and it’s in that place where we are molded, sharpened, purified.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, I encourage you to give yourself permission to be REA/L (Release Each Anxiety/Lie). We are created for communion—with Him and each other. Let’s stop thinking we are a “bother” when we share our burdens, because that’s not at all how God views it. There are times in everyone’s lives when help is needed, even if it’s just a listening ear, during the process of refining us, His masterpiece—especially knowing it sometimes isn’t particularly pleasant. We can, however, more readily accept His grooming practice if we remember who He is…our dearest friend.

Wealth Worth

September 30, 2021September 30, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Sometimes I wake up thinking, what am I doing with my life? I’m X years old, what do I have to show for it? As if I didn’t already have my own purpose anxieties, I’ve even heard “your children have long past primary schooling, when are going back to work?” That one still stings.

Even as I write this, I feel compelled to tell you that I ran a successful business for twelve years, then proceed to walk you through the rest of my resume in attempts to validate my worth. Sad really. But as I exhale this venomous thought process, I am reminded of this verse:

“Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents],even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 AMP

The Bible doesn’t have a cutoff timeframe for this. Why should I allow any devaluation of my work? The Bible also does not delineate one type of work as better than another. The only “job matrix” of any value is laid out here:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Matthew 22:36-40

Need a simplified pretty pin worthy version?

Find one right thing and do it. Then repeat. Serve with an altruistic purpose. Then search for the next opportunity to do so. A job title doesn’t define your purpose. Worth isn’t confined to the walls of an office, held hostage by digits in an account, or sourced within social media clicks. Please, let’s stop perpetually feeding that lie.

Whether you are changing the world or changing a diaper. Changing your community’s landscape or changing the laundry. Changing lives inside a classroom or changing the emotional climate within the framework of your own home. Serve with the pure purpose of God’s Greatest Commandment. THAT, my friend, is why we’re here and holds tremendous value. Plain and simple.

I may not always get it right. But as long as I find one right thing and do it, I can rest with assurance that I’m on the right path. Truly worthy wealth worth.

FIGHT

September 23, 2021September 24, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

In a recent conversation with someone whom I dearly love, she asked how my recovery was going. Here’s the exchange that followed:

I’m ok. Just need to remember how to be a patient again. You’d think with all the times I’ve been in the “patient” situation it would be easier.

Nah, I get it. Every time you fight your way back to feeling good again, it’s even harder to sit still and work back up to fully functional again. It makes sense. ❤️ But you come back better each time. 😉

This. I so needed to hear this today. Maybe you need it as well. You come back better. Again, and again. I’m not sure if she intentionally used that word twice in one sentence, but it stood out to me.

We all go through stuff, have trauma, and it’s ok to feel an obesity of emotions. Then afterwards, we gotta stand up again (and again). Choose to fight—not in a violent, rather overcomer way. FIGHT!

Find

Incredible

Goodness

tHrough

Trauma

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
Jane (Nightbirdie) Marczewski

It’s the in spite of, not the trauma, that should steal our focus. The wildflower growing out of the sidewalk. The rainbow in the storm. The unavoidable laughter through tears. THAT kind of joy, an impregnable goodness, is infectious in the best possible way.

The world needs more of this. See, share, spread this. FIGHT, my friends.

Stop Looking

November 6, 2020November 6, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

When I experienced sudden, bizarre symptoms that took hold of my body three years ago, my friends and I joked that I was a “unicorn,” because no one had previously seen anything like me. Upon reflection, this analogy is deeply misleading. Unicorns, as you know, are mythical creatures and what I experienced was soberingly real. I went through nearly a year of frequent doctor visits, several IV treatments, speech therapy, physical therapy, and essentially relearned how to translate everything my brain wanted to do into physical action.

Flash forward to this past Sunday. I was outside moving firewood in preparation for our next cold snap when a large, hidden scorpion stung my thumb through the gloves I had on. I screamed, as the pain was instantaneous, and thankfully my husband immediately came to see what was wrong. Through sobs, I managed to get out what had occurred. He tended to my sting while trying to console me. After some time (a few minutes? several?), I told him my head felt heavy, and he helped me inside to bed.

When stung, scorpions release venom, containing a mix of toxins into its victim, affecting the nervous system. This is where it gets interesting. For whatever reason, my central nervous system has had multiple intermittent unexplained mini-episodes since “recovering” from my previous syndrome three years ago. Now, this scorpion sting caused most of my debilitating symptoms to return. Hoping they would simply resolve with rest, I spent the rest of the day in bed. Sadly, this was not the case, and my neurologist recommended we go to the ER.

My worst nightmare. Again. You see, I didn’t exactly “fit the mold” for an easy diagnosis previously. I didn’t check all the typical boxes for any one thing. Even after spending over a week in the hospital, I was discharged without a specific “name” for what ailed me. And I was afraid this bad dream was about to repeat itself. All because a stupid scorpion stung me.

Thankfully, I only spent three days in the hospital this time, but the result was the same. “We don’t know”….why my legs weren’t working properly…why my senses were off the chart…why my voice wasn’t audible and speech broken. So I left. In a wheelchair. No diagnosis. Again.

My friend recently gave me this solace: They were looking for a horse (common diagnosis). You are a zebra (out of the ordinary diagnosis).

Zebras are unique. Just like a fingerprint, no two are the same. There it is…a name! I am a zebra. I do not fit the common mold. For now, I am ok with that. I don’t need a specific scientific name to validate or define me. While it might make things easier to explain or help others understand, it doesn’t change where I am today.

My heart goes out to all those who are battling the unknown. Living with something that doesn’t quite fit neatly into a category. Experiencing the frustration of those who just don’t get it. Judged for OTHER’S belief that you are simply making it up. Isolated because no one knows what to say or do.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, I pray you would stop fruitlessly searching for an Earthly name to define you. Stop listening to the voices and opinions of those who are not helpful. Instead, focus on the one who uniquely created you.

Beautiful you.

Wonderful you.

You, who are made in His image.

No one on Earth knows exactly what He looks like and have never seen Him face to face but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist. There is only one name that truly matters: Child of the One True King. You are His beloved. You matter. You are loved. And THAT is what defines you. Stop looking for Earthly validation in a name that does not hold eternal weight. Live in His loving goodness, my zebra friends. This will bring healing to your body and make it well within your soul.

Imbalance

July 23, 2020July 23, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

im·bal·ance

/imˈbaləns/

noun: “lack of proportion or relation between corresponding things”

A state of being where all the right components are present, but the ratio is off…too much or not enough of one thing, causing the inverse of another.

Let me give you a different example. Suppose you have the new Ferrari Portofino. By all accounts, this is a beautiful, finely tuned machine, made for the road. But what if that road was a mind field of loose asphalt, riddled with mammoth potholes and super-sized speed bumps every 100 feet? Not necessarily “ideal” and definitely an imbalance in car to road performance ratio, don’t you think?

Here I lie, imbalanced. Mind working at warp speed, body unable to translate. Somehow, there was a shift, and I missed it. Or maybe I just wasn’t paying attention? Regardless, I thought I had gotten myself back in balance, ready to conquer the world, running on all cylinders. Maybe that’s my issue…I returned to old unhealthy habits.

One thing I have learned through the roller coaster of my last few years is this: it’s so easy to unknowingly exist in a state of imbalance…until the scale becomes completely unbalanced, and you come crashing down. Or is this just how it works for me? I have a feeling, though, that I’m not alone in this arena.

Balance, in this world, especially with our current combative climate, through this crazy pandemic, might seem unobtainable. But as I lie here, it comes to me in a moment of clarity…I not only lack balance, I’m completely missing my foundation! I’ve stopped seeking Him first. Traditional worship has been removed. I’ve become haphazard in my prayer life.

Do I think God caused our current less than desirable condition? Absolutely not! Do I believe our lack of priorities has resulted in an imbalance? Absolutely! A little more Netflix (Prime, YouTube, social media, pick your poison) and a little less God is a recipe for disaster, in any climate…but particularly one as tumultuous as our present position.

You see, the difference between imbalance and in balance is this: a little less of one thing (shave a portion off the ‘m’) and a little more space added in front of balance (so it has room to breathe). And what we breathe (ie take in) is equally important. Scrolling through all the latest negative commentary on a school district parent group, drinking and eating whatever whenever, or binge watching mindless TV/videos/TikToks does NOT lead you down the path towards balance (madness is more likely).

I think in our toilet paper hoarding mindset, we have almost completely lost sight of what Italians call “quanto basta” (just enough). We don’t have definitive answers in so many areas of our lives that we grasp at whatever we can get our hands on. And in our desperate attempt to get a handle on things, instead of getting “just enough,” we are drowning ourselves in garbage. Eating garbage. Watching garbage. Buying tons of garbage. Making ourselves feel like garbage.

“Dear friends, you already know these things. So be on your guard not to be carried away by the deception of people who have no principles. Then you won’t fall from your firm position. But grow in the good grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Glory belongs to him now and for that eternal day! Amen.”
2 Peter 3:17-18 GW

We must return to longing, seeking, searching, worshipping and praising what will last far beyond anything this temporal world offers. We must beware the siren song of imbalance that beacons us away from being in balance. We must master what matters—pursuing what’s best. Him.

Strong Feels Good

June 1, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

>Giving instead of receiving

>Worth instead of a measure

>Stretching instead of breaking

>Work instead of entitlement

>Talking instead of stewing

>Agreement instead of argument

>Pausing instead of continuing

What do these have in common? Strength. This does not necessarily mean the “instead of” is the polar opposite and therefore weakness. But that is exactly how our minds work, doesn’t it? According to a cursory Google search, thinking in opposites can make you a genius, help with anxiety, or bring awareness to our often fickle thoughts. Sometimes it’s helpful, other times it’s not (how’s that for an opposition argument?). Today, I want to focus on the feeling strength evokes.

Strong feels good.

Strong portfolio, good. Mentally strong, good. Strong coffee, good. Unless of course you do not feel the same way I do about coffee.

Strong /strôNG/ (adjective) defined:

1. having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.
2. able to withstand great force or pressure.
3. very intense.
4. used after a number to indicate the size of a group.

Strong can not only be defined in many ways, it also looks different for each of us. And how things look, rather how we perceive things, has a direct correlation with how we feel about them. Bottom line, strong may look AND feel different for each of us because, simply put, WE are different. Which brings me back to the opposite mentality…

There’s so much of our world that’s polarized. And we all have strong opinions. Feelings, if you will. That doesn’t make one side right and the other wrong. I think that’s precisely where we get hung up. Just because we feel a certain way does not make it right. It also doesn’t make it wrong. It simply makes it a feeling.

Here’s my DREAM (Dramatically Radical Edifying Action in Motion): let’s spend our time building ourselves and others up, AT THE SAME TIME! While I realize this may not always be possible concurrently, it can definitely happen individually. With practice in one, the other will also vicariously benefit. That, my friends, doesn’t just feel good…in my humble opinion, it IS good. It makes us strong. And strong feels good.

Pruning

April 9, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

My husband loves his knockout roses. We have several of them in our backyard. It is especially hard for him when I tell him it’s pruning time. During early Spring, when they just start blooming, is the best time to give them a hard pruning—cutting the roses back by 1/3 to 1/2 their size. To see the sudden wild and abundant blooms significantly reduced to a fraction of their size, is physically painful for my husband to endure. It’s like this for all of us…just on a different scale.

No one likes pruning. It hurts. It removes portions we think are beautiful and leaves a barren form in its place. It takes time to regroup, drawing strength from deep within its roots, before exploding again in an even more breathtaking explosion of splendor.

We are much like these roses.

Thorny, in the form of words or actions, “protecting” us.

Outstretched branches, or arms, “defending” our central core.

Blooms, which may seem perfectly lovely, only to be eclipsed by an infinitely more lavish display of magnificent blossoms than previously witnessed…

All of which require pruning.

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and He prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”
John 15:2 NLT

Right now, my friends, we are being pruned.

It seems harsh.

We did not ask for it.

And yet, here we are today…

Waiting, in our reduced state, to bloom again, even more lavishly and magnificently than previously witnessed.

It will take time. But Scripture tells us, in order to produce more, we must be pruned. And yes, it absolutely hurts to have parts of our lives suddenly removed. But as we draw strength from our roots, renewing our covenant with our Creator, we unequivocally will bloom again…in a magnificent splendor, that not only pleases Him, but prayerfully, points others TO Him.

Today is Maunday Thursday. The day in which Jesus washed the feet of His disciples. The day of the Last Supper. The day where we are reminded to love and serve others. The day before Jesus was crucified for the sins we had not yet committed and assented into Heaven.

Today especially, let’s be mindful of this scripture:

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

We serve a God of hope.

A loving God, who keeps His promises.

A compassionate God, who sent His son—saw Him endure temptation, brutal humiliation, ultimately crucification—all to save us from sinful ourselves so we could live an eternal life with Him in His heavenly realms.

Please don’t miss hear me. I do NOT COVID 19 is FROM God, rather, I DO believe this:

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”
Romans 8:26-28 MSG

God makes beautiful things, out of seemingly nothing. He WILL cultivate good from this strife. It’s ok if we feel frustrated, hurt, or tired during our pruning—He will carry us through, onto something good.

I’m New

April 8, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

When I worked in direct sales, one of the things I would tell my team is the grace given when someone heard the words “I’m new.” It was as if suddenly there was a totally different playing field. A fresh start, if you will. An Etch-A-Sketch moment when everything up to that point gets erased. “I’m new” says a lot to the other person.

You probably don’t have the answers.
You probably haven’t had all the experience.
You probably won’t know the perfect solution.
You are simply “new,” and therefore, afforded a magical pass enabling you to receive heaps of patience, maybe even the tilted head version of “Bless your heart,” with a big ‘ol smile and all the Southern charm that accompanies it.

Guess what…right now, we are ALL “new.”

None of us have experienced COVID 19 before. None of us have a clue when we will receive the “all clear.” None of us know what the fallout will be after it’s ok to return to our “normal lives.” Will anything ever really feel “normal” again? Who knows?! I sure don’t…

But I do know this: one of the BEST parts of the “I’m new” phrase is there isn’t a set timeframe for when you have to relinquish it. You can be “new” for as long as you want, or at least, as long as you feel comfortable saying the phrase. Honestly, there are “new” things that pop up daily we’ve not yet encountered, so it is completely applicable, dare I say accurate, to say we are all “new.” EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Most of us just don’t want to admit or say it in the out loud.

So in my REAL moment with you today, I give you the phrase “Hello, I’m new.” Wear this badge proudly. You are in good company, because my friend, we are experiencing this newness together. Let’s afford each other an extra portion of grace. Let’s be kind to one another. Let’s walk through this, at our safe social distance, with a fresh perspective, buckets full of patience, and an eagerness to learn how we can be both human AND kind in this uncertain time.