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Transparent Part 2

by 4letsgetrealtogether
Transparent Part 2

January 23, 2020

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. I trust God, so I am not afraid of what people can do to me! I praise God for his promise to me” (Psalm 56:3-4 ERV).

The primary barrier to transparency is trust. Without trust, our fears are fueled. Without trust, our doubts drum out reasoning. Without trust, we grasp onto whatever “lifeline” is within reach, whether or not it’s life giving and grounded.

So here’s the slippery slope: people are fallible. Humans are bent towards sin. We, including me, will not always get it right. Only God is completely trustworthy, fulfilling all His promises. HOWEVER, God created mankind in His image. God knew we would not be able to navigate this fallen world alone. God, in His infinite wisdom, directs others to implement His plans here.

Simply put, we need each other. We need to share how/what we feel. We need to trust others with our burdens. We need to accept the fact that we not only cannot but aren’t supposed to do this alone!

Jesus told His disciples, “Very truly I tell you, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me” (John 13:20 NIV).

Transparency requires trust.

Trust in Him.

Trust in His plans.

Trust in whom He sends.

Trust is a two way street. We must share and speak truth with others. Truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

We cannot dilute how we truly feel and expect others to see through it onto the underlying root cause . Likewise, we must speak truth with kindness and grace, inviting Him into the situation, because God only knows us completely.

Which brings us back to the question, why do we find it so difficult to operate in love, transparency, and grace-filled generosity?

I don’t have the definitive answer or magic formula on how to get there…and that’s the transparent, honest truth. I struggle too. However, I am working towards putting my trust in Him, which I have to remind myself of daily. I have to spend time in His Word, be cognizant of what/whom I’m listening to, and trust my Abba will ordain the day’s activities. I have to amend my canned “I’m ok” response, when anything could be further from the truth. I have to allow others in, so the junk can be thrown out, and together, we are able to move on. That’s all any of us can do on our journey towards transparency. Trust.

Transparent

by 4letsgetrealtogether
Transparent

January 17, 2020

Clear, without obstruction, permeable, frank.

These are not words usually associated with humans because we are anything but the sort. We deflect, conceal, confuse, sometimes repulse. We push down our regrets, bury ourselves in guilt, and carry shame around our necks like a noose so transparency gets choked out. Truth—the good, the bad, the ugly—too complicated to reveal. Not because we don’t want to…no, because what it allows: a front row, all access pass to see the show that is our lives.

That may seem melodramatic, even a bit depressing, but think about it for a moment. When is the last time you willingly shared a no hold barred conversation with someone? Have you ever? Would you even be able to? Allow someone to intimately know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? All of you—raw and unfiltered. And then make eye contact with that person again?

While we all want to be known, we don’t want to pay the price of transparency. It is non-refundable. It is expensive. It is painful…or so we believe.

What if I told you you were already there, paid in full, pain-free, and proclaimed very good in full transparency? How would your life be altered? Where would put your regret, guilt, and shame? Would you box and keep it, just in case this new “transparency thing” wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be? If you were fully known, and still unconditionally loved, there wouldn’t be a reason to hang on to those cords any longer. Your bondage would be severed, and you would be free.

El Roi, the God who sees.

El Shaddai, God Almighty.

Emmanuel, God with us.

This is who transparently sees every thought, every move, every breath we take. And out of His great love for us, He gives us this gift called life along with opportunity to choose how we navigate it. Like Adam and Eve, we sin, yet through His generosity, we still see the light of the next day. We are surrounded by a multitude of His creations, meant for good. He is completely transparent in how much He loves us. Why do we find it so difficult to operate in this manner? In love, transparency, generosity?

We’ll talk more about this soon…until then, please meditate on this scripture.

“Nothing in all the world can be hidden from God. Everything is clear and lies open before him. And to him we must explain the way we have lived” (Hebrews 4:13 ICB).

Risky Business

by 4letsgetrealtogether
Risky Business

January 14, 2020

Expertly engineered, it stood expectantly awaiting what came next. It’s purpose? To ignite and unite a multi-generation community, ushering in hope through its brilliant display. A beacon that would burn for hours through the night, into the next day. Its light not easily extinguished. If you’ve never experienced an Aggie bonfire, it’s truly an experience to behold.

We are made in similar fashion: skillfully created, never identically duplicated, with a specifically planned purpose waiting ignition. Once our fires are ablaze, purpose set into motion, we become beacons, offering hope, community, and possibility to others. But here’s the million dollar question: Will you allow yourself to be used and fulfill your purpose?

It’s risky business living out loud, on purpose. Someone will always have a comment about how or what they would have done differently. Someone will always question your motive or means. Someone will always try to knock you down, just for the fun of it. It’s risky business being on display, but without risk there is no reward.

Our greater purpose will not be achieved within our comfort zone. Period. Why? Because we would not have stretched far enough for anyone else to benefit. Our greater purpose involves more than just us! “God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another” (1 Peter 4:10 NLT).

Your gift, your purpose, is unique unto you, but it is not meant exclusively for you alone. You, my friend, were made for more. Through the power of His spirit, you are called to be a light unto the darkness of this world. You are created to be seen so others may glorify Him. Stop hiding, tucked firmly under your comfort zone blanket, hoping you won’t upset the apple cart, and praying you can make it through the day unnoticed!

“My dear friends, stand firm and don’t be shaken. Always keep busy working for the Lord. You know that everything you do for Him is worthwhile” (1 Corinthians 15:58 CEV).

Some may say it’s risky business serving the Lord, working to fulfill His purpose, allowing others to plainly see. It’s risky operating under “that kind of pressure.” It’s risky being transparently vulnerable. What if I fail? What if people think I’m crazy? What if I’m not 100% sure of my purpose? What then?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV).

Obediently trusting Him is always worthwhile, anything else is risky business.

GOOD

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GOOD

January 11, 2020

When you think “good,” what comes to mind? Something you enjoy? Something to helpful? Something comforting? Certainly not something difficult, right? How could that be “good?”

I am coming to terms with this concept of “good.” His goodness. Goodness that may not initially feel “good” but is good for me nonetheless. That’s not human nature, though, is it? We want what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. Think about how many ways you can personalize your Whataburger or Starbucks! And if it’s available to us, why shouldn’t we?

“For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,” (1 Timothy 4:4 NIV).

THIS is where we get in trouble. We take bits of scripture and morph them to soot our “needs.” Read the scripture again…go ahead, I’ll wait…

It says “for everything GOD created is good” (emphasis added). It does NOT say everything IS good. It also says to receive with thanksgiving. Gratitude seems to be in short supply these days, especially if we do not think what we receive is “good,” which brings me back to this concept of His goodness.

Personally, I seem to be maneuvering from one unusual situation into another. This can get exhausting and utterly deflating. It’s easy to get swallowed up and wallow in a “what have I done to deserve this” mentality. Or “God must think I’m a real bad ass” mindset. Neither is healthy. Nor could they be further from the truth. I think we need a new framework in which to filter “good.”

God

Ordained

Opportunity

Development

GOOD, in this case, is from Him and should be received with thanksgiving. It may not look or feel like “good” in the moment, but God was never meant to be our servant. El Shaddai (God Almighty), yes. El Roi (God who sees), yes. Yahweh Yireh (God Provides), yes. God the “magic genie in the bottle whom we can beckon in a moment’s notice and have our wish granted,” no. Sounds ridiculous seeing it in print, and yet, that’s exactly how a majority of us expect God to operate. Not only is this not good, it’s completely narcissistic, unrealistic and just plain bad!

So today, as I have no voice and am unable to speak in the literal sense, I am faced with a choice. I can choose to let the devil roam around the playground of my mind and allow him to run amuck with his lies, doubting God’s presence within me…OR, I can, with thanksgiving, identify this moment as GOOD. God Ordained Opportunity Development.

Truth be told, this is hard for my extroverted-self to comprehend, let alone apply, without the ability to vocally communicate in a very populated setting all weekend, but I’m trying. I’m praying for an extra portion of grace. I’m breathing and mentally framing my current frustrating situation, as best I can, as GOOD.

The “Doing” Drug

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The “Doing” Drug

January 8, 2020

It’ll be different this year, I tell myself. I fervently prayed for revelation of my 2020 focus word (obedient). I will not be seduced by its addictive high. It’ll be different this year. I will remain open to His plan, center on what He desires of me, obey His still voice within. But that sweet siren’s song beckons me…my eyes are drawn to the cluttered counter, laundry piled on the couch waiting to be folded, Christmas still prominently displayed all over the house…the list accumulates. I begin doing, unaware of the intoxication power each completed task, and subsequent added undertaking, holds. I am, once again, hooked and enslaved by the “doing” drug.

It was obvious from a young age that I’m a Martha. A “go to,” “get it done” girl. I’ve always enjoyed being called upon to complete a job. It makes me feel important. And I’m good at it, the “doing.” I excel when given tasks and a deadline. I make sacrifices to ensure whatever project or event comes to fruition, appearing to having it all under control…because that’s part of the gig. I have to make it seem like it was no big deal. I don’t want anyone to see me as unable or weak. Been there, done that when I was physically not capable and certainly don’t want to be back in that boat, thank you very much!

This is NOT obedience, and I full well know it!

But the “high” that comes with the doing drug, crashes over me like a tidal wave. I am sucked into the riptide, pulled back again and again until my body is worn by its crushing weight. In my “Martha” frenzy, or truthfully addition, I become weak and worn. My judgement becomes clouded, which frustrates the daylights out of me. I end up crashing, like an addict who’s had too much. Shut down rapidly and unexpectedly, like my iPhone when I’ve neglected it too long.

What’s your drug of choice? Is it “doing” like me? Is it binge watching? Is it eating? What temporarily soothes you till you are comfortably numb? What takes away the ache? What silences those feelings? THAT’S your drug, your addiction. It’s intoxicating powers do not last, and at some point, we all come down off our high. Here, before our next “fix,” is where we have a choice. Do we allow ourselves to be swept up again in this cyclical battle? Or do decide ENOUGH?! While our war wounds are not visible to others, it does not take away the pain we feel. It does not remove the scars that have accumulated. It is the unseen strife that we wrestle with daily, on top of whatever else the day brings. Cue the infamous words of SNL’s Church Lady, “Well, isn’t that just special…”

I see you, my friend. I struggle too. My brain and body feel so battered, it’s simply easier to keep this ball rolling than to change tracks. My prayer, in confessing this to you, is that you will not feel alone. Maybe in sharing our weak moments, we can become stronger together.

“Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
(Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV)

My sweet oldest claimed this as “The Year of REA/L” for me along with Exodus 13:13: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” In those moments, breathe with me. Know that He IS fighting for you. Know that you are not alone. Know that you have a friend in me.

Soon, you will see a “prayer services” tab on the web site. It would be my privilege, if you feel comfortable in sharing, to pray with and for you. Sometimes all it takes is speaking out those strongholds to free you from their entanglement. I see you, my friend. And I am here to listen…

Perfection

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Perfection

December 10, 2019

Have you ever liked the idea of doing something rather than the actual doing? Take Christmas cookies, for example. My college roommate and I have a tradition of getting together, a couple days before Christmas, and baking dozens of cookies in a multitude of variety. I say “we,” but it’s actually me. I do all the baking and she does the pulling, cooling, decorating, and transportation to our “finished” table. Since the arrival of our respective children, the kids have taken over the decorating, as well as the sprinkle/frosting explosion that inevitably happens.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do so enjoy our time together. I look forward to our annual “Cookie Day.” It’s a favored tradition in my family, after all! But if I’m honest, after about the 5th hour of baking, I’m plain exhausted. I look around at the colossal mess that’s taken over my kitchen, and I think, “why can’t we make this simpler?” Every. Year.

As I sit in a doctor’s office writing this while patiently (or not so) waiting for my turn, I begin thinking about the things I still need to do in order to make this day happen, and wonder why I exhaust myself planning, preparing, and making the myriad of treats so I can present the “perfect” plate of cookies? Why do I allow myself to work till I am absolutely worn, only to feel completely drained on the subsequent days of celebration? Why do I choose to keep up the pretense that “I’m fine,” starting on the next batch, when nothing is further from the truth?

The REA/L answer? Vanity. I don’t want anyone to think less of me if their favorite isn’t on that plate. I don’t want my neighbors to wonder why they didn’t receive their goodies this year. And frankly, I don’t want to admit that this Mom is tired of trying to making things “perfect.”

Perfect is a four letter word. It’s actually seven, but you know what I mean. Nothing is “perfect” this side of Heaven. Period. Then why do we debilitate ourselves striving for the impossible? Seriously, what’s the point?

I’m not sure where you are in this season that’s meant to be joyous, but can we agree to stop the madness and be intentional about things that actually matter? Can we commit to being present instead of pretending to be perfect? Can we refrain from getting wrapped up in how things look like and focus more on what’s genuinely important? Our friends and families care more about the giver (that’s US) than any gift they receive. So does our Savior…and since it’s His birth we honor in the coming weeks, doesn’t it just make sense to be obedient in our adoration of Him instead of things? Acknowledge His perfection. Spend time adoring Him. Prepare our hearts for His arrival. More Mary than Martha (see Luke 10: 38-42).

Let’s be intentionally present.

Let’s not lose the gift of today.

Let’s actually be merry this Christmas!

And in the doing, my friend, we will be able to truly rejoice together in all the beautiful things He gives us, not only in this season, but in each day we are afforded.

Faith

by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments on Faith
Faith

December 8, 2019

I know a man who is battling cancer, though on a good day, his smile and infectious laughter will illuminate the room brighter than a Christmas tree.

I know a woman, who is battling real-flesh demons, in the form of family, though she will stop and fiercely pray for you as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

I know a child, who is battling through mental health issues, though you’d never know as she grabs your hand and invites you to join her game.

I bet you also know someone battling something…it may even be you. But let me share this truth with you: courage can be found in the midst of every battle. Suffering cannot snuff out hope, belief in a better life. Assurance in something more, bigger than the battle. It’s called faith.

Faith is so much more than religion. Faith is confidence. “Faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see” (Hebrews 11:1 CEV). Faith is the bridge that allows us passage through our battles. Faith, though not tangible, is what we must cling to as it carries us onto a place of courage.

Courage for the next breath.

Courage for the next step.

Courage for the smile we wear, even and especially when we feel there’s nothing joyous about what we are battling.

Through faith, we can still call ourselves courageous instead of victims. We still have something we can offer. We still have worth. We still can contribute. We simply need to hold faith as our evidence.

What are you holding onto, my friend?

If it’s not faith, release it so you will receive this gift. It will not only change your life, but in the receiving, you will be given the opportunity to share. You will experience unspeakable joy, within the heart of your battle, as you share your faith. You will give another the gift of hope. And that, my friend, is worth holding on to…

Transform Not Conform

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Transform Not Conform

November 19, 2019

As I looked down at my taco, thankful it was especially hearty this morning, I had an idea. I would do the unthinkable—open up the tortilla, spread out my breakfast, and eat it with a fork. It seemed completely ludicrous as I did this; however, I was able to take my time as I savored it. I was able to enjoy a normal forkful, instead of a monstrous mouthful. I was able to prolong my meal, not worrying about speed or size of each bite for fear of its filling falling out and spilling everywhere. I ate, peacefully and purposefully, relishing in this newfound novelty I’d discovered, enabling me to intentionally slow down something could have easily become robotic and mechanical. Applying the unwritten “code” on the taco-eating program.

At first, I didn’t understand the stares I received. Was there something on my face? Did I spill on my shirt? Then, as I looked around, I realized I was the only one “sacrilegiously” eating my breakfast taco. It was obvious this was simply odd behavior. Finishing scanning the tables in front of me, my eyes landed on a man seated off to my left side. He too had decided against the “traditional” taco eating tradition, and as he brought his fork up to his mouth, our eyes met. Briefly, a smile flashed across his face, an acknowledgement, if you will, of our unspoken bond before he took his bite. I returned the favor, raised my fork, gave him a little nod and smile in “cheers” fashion. Happily, I went back to enjoying my breakfast.

When I finished eating, I looked over again towards my comrade, and noticed he’d already left. I was slightly saddened, as if I’d missed an opportunity. Though we had not spoken a word to each other, I felt we’d made a connection. It was an “I see you” moment— a recognition and validation of the other. How much a stranger’s approval meant in that moment made me realize how difficult it is for us to go against the grain and do something “outside” of the norm.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2 NLT).

So often we look at others, longing for acceptance, and believe if we could just duplicate their actions, we too would be included, valued, respected. This type of conformance is not only confining, trapping us in a copycat mindset, it derails us from fulfillment of His purpose.

We only have one lifetime to figure out how we want to spend eternity. It’s up to us to step out, make ourselves available to receive His direction—no matter how outside of the box everyone else finds it. And in the following, we are perfect in our obedience, which pleases Him beyond measure.

All this from a taco, I know. His revelations come in unique ways for each of us. There was no mold when you were formed, my friend. When we will stop unnecessarily trying to cram ourselves into one?

REAL time

by 4letsgetrealtogether
REAL time

November 7, 2019

White hot tears suddenly welled up, threatening to erupt. I was instantly back there, remembering with vivid clarity. My breath caught in my chest, and I thought, was that whole thing really only two months ago? I blinked. Despite my efforts, a single tear escaped, cascading down the side of my face. A visceral reaction to an inanimate object, something I no longer needed and donated, yet the mere presence of it felt crippling. The crimson cane, leaned up against the wall in a back room, stood there taunting me.

I’m thankful I no longer require its assistance. I’m grateful to have my mobility back. I’m humblessed (that’s humbled and blessed at the same time) God healed me, answering my prayer. While that debilitating period seemed to last a lifetime, it disappeared as quickly as its unwelcomed appearance, eleven months later.

“Don’t let it escape your notice, dear friends, that with the Lord a single day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a single day. The Lord isn’t slow to keep his promise, as some think of slowness, but he is patient toward you, not wanting anyone to perish but all to change their hearts and lives” (2 Peter 3:8-9 CEB).

In sharing my experiences with you, being transparent with the hard stuff, allowing vulnerability to show, I pray you feel comfort knowing you are not alone. I pray you realize God isn’t punishing you. I pray your heart will soften and release the urge to wrestle. I pray, wherever you are within your struggle, you will reach out instead of retreat. I pray, my friend, every anxiety about the “what, when, or why” you are experiencing will wash away as you patiently wait for Him.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14 NIV).

This is Lets’s Get REAL Together at its core. A community that fosters authentic Christ-centered relationships in the restless moments. A mindset, grounded in Christ’s grace. A place where you come whenever you need to hear His truths. A space where our secular lives and spiritual lives join together, solidified into singular existence.

In a society that tries to divide us with labels, we need REAL time. Release Each Anxiety/Lie. I have been there, my friend. It may not look exactly like your struggle, but when I was faced with mine, I actively chose a winning team. I sought The One whose victory had already been declared. I praised Him as He carried me through the storm. I want that for you too! Let’s Get REAL Together!

The Subtle Sin

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The Subtle Sin

November 5, 2019

When contemplating the gravity of God’s Ten Commandments, we tend to give more “weight” to numbers 6, 7, and 8 (thou shalt not murder, commit adultery, steal). If we abstain from these “big three,” then we foolishly believe we are obedient in following His commands. While this is partially true, we are obeying three of His commandments, the recognition that there are SEVEN additional and equally important commands gets bypassed, lost in translation, much less applied.

Today, I submit to you that I regularly and unconsciously break the tenth commandment. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Exodus 20:17 NIV, emphasis added). No, I do not covet in a lustful way, which is how I believe most perceive this commandment to indicate…as if an extension to committing adultery. Breaking this commandment is something I call the subtle sin. Sin we frequently commit without realizing it. Sin that doesn’t hurt others (or does it?). Sin that appears harmless until it’s cleverly hidden thorns wound you, deteriorate your ability to live in wholeness, and rob you of contentment. Please allow me to explain…

You shall not covet…Covet (defined by vocabulary.com) is a verb: “wish, long, or crave for (something, especially the property of another person).”

To not covet, is to not compare. To not be jealous of another. To be content with yourself, your situation, your surroundings. The tenth commandment looks a little different now, doesn’t it?

We compare ALL the time, at least that’s what I catch myself doing! Ourselves to another. Our current self to one of five, ten, fifteen years ago. Our stuff to our neighbor’s stuff. Our talents to someone else’s talents. We covet when we compare. Period. This is a difficult concept to swallow, especially because it’s something we all do.

We live in a fallen world, where we wrestle and are restless.

We are ravaged by a hunger for more.

We constantly crave others’ things.

We complain. We compare. We covet. We live a live life of discontentment.

Imagine this with me. A well educated man of means, living fat off of lies, wielding justice as he saw fit. A man both feared and respected. A man who was suddenly struck blind, dramatically altering life as he knew it. Now, this same man, suddenly redeemed, had his blinders literally removed, and began experiencing a significantly different and difficult life . While living out his new-found God-given purpose, he spent years imprisoned, yet continued joyfully praising His redeemer. Doesn’t seem plausible, much less desirable, does it? However, this is exactly how the apostle Paul learned how to live in obedience of God’s Tenth Commandment.

Paul writes, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Philippians 4:11-12 NIV). These words written from a jail cell.

“How is this possible?” you may ask. Why is Paul so content? What enables him to move past wanting, longing, and craving his former “comfortable” life? The answer is found in the next scripture verse.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 NRSV).

Paul experienced lives in extreme polar opposite circumstances, yet he actively chose contentment, gratitude and praise in the arduous–not through his own strength, but through Christ.

Can you fathom this type of peace? A life without coveting, craving, or comparing? An abundant life, glorifying Him, whatever the circumstances?

“Of course, there is great gain in godliness combined with contentment; for we brought nothing into the world, so that we can take nothing out of it; but if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these” (1 Timothy 6:6-8 NRSV).

My desire, in a world where coveting and comparing are commonplace, is contentment. Urban Dictionary states, “Contentment is true peace of mind and has absolutely nothing to do with any external pleasure or condition, but rather your attitude.” I want to live in this kind of joyful obedience. I yearn for this all encompassing peace. Will you join me, leaning into contentment and turning away from the subtle sin?