One of the primary reasons I started writing Let’s Get REAL Together was to share scriptural truths. To encourage. To stomp ugly lies that fly about with Biblical truths. But also to share my own battles and anxieties in the hope that you might identify on some level. Then together, we could find comfort in His Word, which brings me to today…
Cancer is a horrible evil. It eats its host as well as the entire family. It feels like a death sentence upon diagnosis, especially when it’s given the added insult of “Stage 4.”
I think it’s safe to say that we have all either known someone who has battled cancer or fought it themselves. You might see chemo posts, or best case scenario, a smile victoriously ringing the bell. But here is what you don’t see…the unspoken.
The vomiting.
The loss of bowels.
The grey skin over shriveling body.
The loss of recognition for loved ones.
The combative, inconsolable confusion accompanying overwhelming pain.
This is the unspoken. This is the omitted part, reserved solely for parents, spouses, or loved ones brave enough to endure the burden of primary care giver. This is the bitter pill that must be choked down before (prayerfully) a glorious homecoming.
No pamphlet or book can prepare you for this. This is a horror show that no one wants to see. And yet, this is the unspoken reality for many…
It’s easy for an outsider to ask “why.” Offer “have you tried” advice. Question decisions. I fall into this category because I don’t understand this disease, which makes me feel helpless. All I see is the shell of a man I once knew. Feel fierce longing for one last bear hug. Desperate for one more impromptu dance. Hear his velvet baritone voice sing my name.
To those who have traveled a similar path, my heart aches for you.
To you reading this today, the next time you see or hear someone asking for prayer, do it. Right then and there. You don’t need the intimate details. Receive the unspoken request. Intercede on their behalf. Lay their burden at His feet. Then ask if you can hug them. They might need to feel His love in a tangible way. Be His hands and feet.
To my warrior friends, please echo my unspoken prayer.
“Also, we can really trust God to help us when we turn to Him. We know that He will hear us. When we ask for anything that He wants us to have, He listens to us.”
1 John 5:14 EASY
Let's Get REAL Together 
I am so sorry for the grief you’re experiencing while your dad is still alive. While I haven’t walked in your shoes, I’ve grieved the loss of my mother long before she died because of Alzheimer’s. And, it sucks. You are so precious to your dad, and I know you know that. Death may be a part of life, but I don’t like it. Thank you for sharing your heart. I send my love and a hug.
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My sweet dear sister! Your lips to God’s ears! He knows. I’m so sorry you are having to watch him suffer this way. It is some of the most painful and unimaginable deaths to watch. My father in law suffered the last 7 months of his life with Stage 4 Colon Cancer and was a shell of himself when he passed away. It was excruciating to watch a strong, fiercely independent man go down so fast. But God blessed us all by taking him before his Alzheimer’s did him in all the way. We felt it a blessing at the time, of course, still hard. I hate, hate, hate this for you! Please know I am holding y’all up in prayer and hope that you all are able to share all the remaining time together as a family honoring him. I love you so much!
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Candyce
Thank you for being real and expressing your heartfelt thoughts. May the prayers of your prayer warriors uplift you during this difficult time. I know your heart is heavier with your dad’s passing. Prayers are so important. Thank you for the reminder to pray when requests are given. My continued prayers are with you, your mother and family.
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