Tag: Wisdom

The Way

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The Way

Have you heard the expression “as a crow flies?” “Charlie lives about a mile north of here, as a crow flies.” It’s used to gauge the shortest distance between two points; however, this idiom is usually followed up with: “but it takes me 20 minutes to get there.”

Let’s face it, we aren’t birds and we certainly cannot fly! In this picture, you can see the narrow part where there the two sections of road are closest together, though separated by the hill and trees. One might think, why didn’t the crew laying the road simply cut through there instead of going the “long way around?” Could be a multitude of reasons: cost, conditions, long term stability, or even something as simple as protecting nature. While it would be faster “as a crow flies,” to cross at this narrowed section, that is not the way it’s designed, intentionally.

This is sometimes how God works as well. We will never know “why” life takes the turns it does nor do we really know what’s around the corner. But for those who trust Him, and do not get caught up in the “why,” the way He provides is far more enjoyable and scenic.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8 NIV).

God may need you to slow down and enjoy His beautiful surroundings, as He takes you up a steep climb, which you hardly notice because you are in awe of His majesty. God may simply want more time with you, preparing you, before you face the sheered cliff, hidden by the trees, coming up ahead. God may be keeping an unforeseen danger away from you, carefully masked by His beauty. My friend, God absolutely has His reasons for the road you are on.

So in my REA/L moment with you this morning, consider this: on your journey, relinquish control of the way you THINK things should go or look. If He has placed something in your heart, by all means work at it, but do not get stubbornly caught up in the way your God’venture “should look” or “should happen.” The way is not your concern, the destination or goal He’s given you is. If you allow the way to be His way, He will never lead you astray.

Pruning

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Pruning

My husband loves his knockout roses. We have several of them in our backyard. It is especially hard for him when I tell him it’s pruning time. During early Spring, when they just start blooming, is the best time to give them a hard pruning—cutting the roses back by 1/3 to 1/2 their size. To see the sudden wild and abundant blooms significantly reduced to a fraction of their size, is physically painful for my husband to endure. It’s like this for all of us…just on a different scale.

No one likes pruning. It hurts. It removes portions we think are beautiful and leaves a barren form in its place. It takes time to regroup, drawing strength from deep within its roots, before exploding again in an even more breathtaking explosion of splendor.

We are much like these roses.

Thorny, in the form of words or actions, “protecting” us.

Outstretched branches, or arms, “defending” our central core.

Blooms, which may seem perfectly lovely, only to be eclipsed by an infinitely more lavish display of magnificent blossoms than previously witnessed…

All of which require pruning.

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and He prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”

John 15:2 NLT

Right now, my friends, we are being pruned.

It seems harsh.

We did not ask for it.

And yet, here we are today…

Waiting, in our reduced state, to bloom again, even more lavishly and magnificently than previously witnessed.

It will take time. But Scripture tells us, in order to produce more, we must be pruned. And yes, it absolutely hurts to have parts of our lives suddenly removed. But as we draw strength from our roots, renewing our covenant with our Creator, we unequivocally will bloom again…in a magnificent splendor, that not only pleases Him, but prayerfully, points others TO Him.

Today is Maunday Thursday. The day in which Jesus washed the feet of His disciples. The day of the Last Supper. The day where we are reminded to love and serve others. The day before Jesus was crucified for the sins we had not yet committed and assented into Heaven.

Today especially, let’s be mindful of this scripture:

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

We serve a God of hope.

A loving God, who keeps His promises.

A compassionate God, who sent His son—saw Him endure temptation, brutal humiliation, ultimately crucification—all to save us from sinful ourselves so we could live an eternal life with Him in His heavenly realms.

Please don’t miss hear me. I do NOT COVID 19 is FROM God, rather, I DO believe this:

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

Romans 8:26-28 MSG

God makes beautiful things, out of seemingly nothing. He WILL cultivate good from this strife. It’s ok if we feel frustrated, hurt, or tired during our pruning—He will carry us through, onto something good.

I’m New

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I’m New

When I worked in direct sales, one of the things I would tell my team is the grace given when someone heard the words “I’m new.” It was as if suddenly there was a totally different playing field. A fresh start, if you will. An Etch-A-Sketch moment when everything up to that point gets erased. “I’m new” says a lot to the other person.

You probably don’t have the answers.
You probably haven’t had all the experience.
You probably won’t know the perfect solution.
You are simply “new,” and therefore, afforded a magical pass enabling you to receive heaps of patience, maybe even the tilted head version of “Bless your heart,” with a big ‘ol smile and all the Southern charm that accompanies it.

Guess what…right now, we are ALL “new.”

None of us have experienced COVID 19 before. None of us have a clue when we will receive the “all clear.” None of us know what the fallout will be after it’s ok to return to our “normal lives.” Will anything ever really feel “normal” again? Who knows?! I sure don’t…

But I do know this: one of the BEST parts of the “I’m new” phrase is there isn’t a set timeframe for when you have to relinquish it. You can be “new” for as long as you want, or at least, as long as you feel comfortable saying the phrase. Honestly, there are “new” things that pop up daily we’ve not yet encountered, so it is completely applicable, dare I say accurate, to say we are all “new.” EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Most of us just don’t want to admit or say it in the out loud.

So in my REAL moment with you today, I give you the phrase “Hello, I’m new.” Wear this badge proudly. You are in good company, because my friend, we are experiencing this newness together. Let’s afford each other an extra portion of grace. Let’s be kind to one another. Let’s walk through this, at our safe social distance, with a fresh perspective, buckets full of patience, and an eagerness to learn how we can be both human AND kind in this uncertain time.

SOS

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SOS

March 30, 2020

SOS/ˌesōˈes/noun

  1. an international code signal of extreme distress, used especially by ships at sea.
  2. an urgent appeal for help.

Did you know these three letters don’t actually stand for anything (according to a Mental Floss article)? But if you see and/or hear “SOS,” you immediately know someone is need of dire assistance. It’s one of those little nuggets that somehow has gotten plugged into our brains, and no one is really certain of the actual origin, it just “is what it is.”

In a time when social distancing is the “norm” (wow, that feels so surreal to type), we are missing out on all kinds of cues. On my jog this morning, I smile and give the neighborly wave to those passing by…sometimes, there’s the quick trite exchange: How are you? Good, you? All good. With all that is going on in the world, it’s hard to show your hand in these brief chats.

I want to hug you, but I can’t.

I want to put my hand on your shoulder and ask, “how are things really going?”

I want to tell you, please pray from my dear friend who suddenly lost his job.

I want you to know I don’t have it all together.

I want us to go back to when things weren’t so uncertain.

I feel like I am in a perpetually looping Rihanna song:

“S.O.S., please someone help me
It’s not healthy for me to feel this
Y.O.U. are making this hard
I can’t take it, see it don’t feel right”

Except this isn’t about being lovesick over a boy, it’s feeling heart wrecked about what this social distancing is doing to my kids who desperately miss their friends (and shockingly going to a physical school). It’s seeing the desperation in my community as news feed after news feed pleads, “where can I find eggs, flour, or paper towels?” It’s hearing the unspoken aching in texting my loved ones outside of our four walls, “love and miss you.”

SOS

I keep feeling an urge to write, but if I’m being real, I’m not sure what I have to offer. I certainly do not have the answers. I don’t want to come across as being a princess on a pedestal, completely oblivious and immune to what’s happening. But what I desperately want to do is help. I am a servant at heart, and serving is one of my love languages. It’s in this vein that I share something that has been bouncing around in my head for a few days now…

It started after seeing a post about “chalk you walk,” offering an encouraging message written or drawn on your driveway. I joked and said, mine would read “spread joy not germs,” followed by #WashYourHands underneath. Over the last week, I kept seeing one of those “Hello my name is” labels in my head that had “I’m new” written in the blank space. This whole experience is “new” for all of us! We ought to be doling out grace by the bucketful right now! Positivity seems to have taken a backseat to fear and divisiveness. It makes me sad, hurts my heart, and makes me want to cry.

SOS. Extreme distress. Urgent appeal for help.

But what if we applied this theory by Wayne Dyer instead?

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

What if, when we felt ourselves in extreme distress, in need of urgent help, we hailed a different SOS?

If we dug deep, and found something POSITIVE in our current situation.

If instead of flaring up, we took a breath and offered GRACE.

If we simply chose to count it all JOY, no matter the circumstances.

This simple shift in how we choose to operate would make a monumental change in not just our lives within our own four walls but our communities and beyond (I sounded like Buzz Lightyear for a moment)! While I know thinking must seem a bit naive, I cannot get it out of my head. Our world has been turned upside down by this virus, and there is little we can do about it (other than social distancing and thoroughly washing our hands). However, we can change the way we look at things and how we allow things to impact us. This is a life hack that will serve us well after COVID-19 is a thing of the past!

Spread positivity. Offer grace. Share joy.

We will get through this, friends.

We will get together socially again.

And I pray, when we do, we will all be better human beings.

Perfection

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Perfection

December 10, 2019

Have you ever liked the idea of doing something rather than the actual doing? Take Christmas cookies, for example. My college roommate and I have a tradition of getting together, a couple days before Christmas, and baking dozens of cookies in a multitude of variety. I say “we,” but it’s actually me. I do all the baking and she does the pulling, cooling, decorating, and transportation to our “finished” table. Since the arrival of our respective children, the kids have taken over the decorating, as well as the sprinkle/frosting explosion that inevitably happens.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do so enjoy our time together. I look forward to our annual “Cookie Day.” It’s a favored tradition in my family, after all! But if I’m honest, after about the 5th hour of baking, I’m plain exhausted. I look around at the colossal mess that’s taken over my kitchen, and I think, “why can’t we make this simpler?” Every. Year.

As I sit in a doctor’s office writing this while patiently (or not so) waiting for my turn, I begin thinking about the things I still need to do in order to make this day happen, and wonder why I exhaust myself planning, preparing, and making the myriad of treats so I can present the “perfect” plate of cookies? Why do I allow myself to work till I am absolutely worn, only to feel completely drained on the subsequent days of celebration? Why do I choose to keep up the pretense that “I’m fine,” starting on the next batch, when nothing is further from the truth?

The REA/L answer? Vanity. I don’t want anyone to think less of me if their favorite isn’t on that plate. I don’t want my neighbors to wonder why they didn’t receive their goodies this year. And frankly, I don’t want to admit that this Mom is tired of trying to making things “perfect.”

Perfect is a four letter word. It’s actually seven, but you know what I mean. Nothing is “perfect” this side of Heaven. Period. Then why do we debilitate ourselves striving for the impossible? Seriously, what’s the point?

I’m not sure where you are in this season that’s meant to be joyous, but can we agree to stop the madness and be intentional about things that actually matter? Can we commit to being present instead of pretending to be perfect? Can we refrain from getting wrapped up in how things look like and focus more on what’s genuinely important? Our friends and families care more about the giver (that’s US) than any gift they receive. So does our Savior…and since it’s His birth we honor in the coming weeks, doesn’t it just make sense to be obedient in our adoration of Him instead of things? Acknowledge His perfection. Spend time adoring Him. Prepare our hearts for His arrival. More Mary than Martha (see Luke 10: 38-42).

Let’s be intentionally present.

Let’s not lose the gift of today.

Let’s actually be merry this Christmas!

And in the doing, my friend, we will be able to truly rejoice together in all the beautiful things He gives us, not only in this season, but in each day we are afforded.

Faith

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Faith

December 8, 2019

I know a man who is battling cancer, though on a good day, his smile and infectious laughter will illuminate the room brighter than a Christmas tree.

I know a woman, who is battling real-flesh demons, in the form of family, though she will stop and fiercely pray for you as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

I know a child, who is battling through mental health issues, though you’d never know as she grabs your hand and invites you to join her game.

I bet you also know someone battling something…it may even be you. But let me share this truth with you: courage can be found in the midst of every battle. Suffering cannot snuff out hope, belief in a better life. Assurance in something more, bigger than the battle. It’s called faith.

Faith is so much more than religion. Faith is confidence. “Faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see” (Hebrews 11:1 CEV). Faith is the bridge that allows us passage through our battles. Faith, though not tangible, is what we must cling to as it carries us onto a place of courage.

Courage for the next breath.

Courage for the next step.

Courage for the smile we wear, even and especially when we feel there’s nothing joyous about what we are battling.

Through faith, we can still call ourselves courageous instead of victims. We still have something we can offer. We still have worth. We still can contribute. We simply need to hold faith as our evidence.

What are you holding onto, my friend?

If it’s not faith, release it so you will receive this gift. It will not only change your life, but in the receiving, you will be given the opportunity to share. You will experience unspeakable joy, within the heart of your battle, as you share your faith. You will give another the gift of hope. And that, my friend, is worth holding on to…

Details

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Details

October 28, 2019

I was recently asked to give an impromptu speech addressing this question: “What are you not seeing?” I took the obvious route. If I’m not seeing it, how do I know what I’m missing? Thinking about this today, my response would be different. I would say I am missing the details…

When I had sensory issues, it seemed I was constantly surrounded by the details. I heard noises and conversations with bat-like precision. I took in my environment’s colors with vivid intensity. My skin seemed to have more nerve endings, which had a dramatic effect on my body. Flooded with so many details all at once was both exhausting and exhilarating, at the same time. It caused me to pause. I had to in order to drink them all in. As I did, they afforded me great joy, often resulting in giggles. It was the multitude of details that made me increasingly aware of how much I was missing in my fast-paced “normal” life.

God is in the details. He brings importance to the smallest facets. His countless creations speak to the level of attention in His designs. They show the vast intimacy with which He cares for us. He not only wants us to share all our details, He delights in them (Psalm 37:23)!

It seems, nowadays, we don’t have a desire for details. They take too much time. They get in the way. They don’t leave enough wiggle room. We only want the highlight reel–enough information to get the “gist” so we can move on. Much like the Cliff Notes version for the books we were supposed to read in High School, or maybe that was just me in my immaturity.

I’m not sure about you, but I want to exchange my fast-action, wide angle lens for one that captures precious portrait details. I crave them again. I want to slow down, breathe in, and savor each bite, relishing in all that it has to offer. I want to stop and truly appreciate the craftsmanship within a butterfly’s wing, painted by my child. I want to go back to being methodical in my movements, preserving my energy for noticing those tiny treasures placed along my path. I miss the details, and the abundant joy that accompanied them.

“Open my eyes to see the miracles in your teachings” (Psalm 119:18 NCV).

For I know your details, Lord, are not by chance, rather are by your divine design.

Humble me to recognize them.

Help me to delight in them.

Enable me to share them.

This I pray…

Perspective

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Perspective

October 23, 2019

We were sitting together, one night, my youngest and me, discussing the happenings of our day. I’d had a rough one and was lamenting all my woes. After listening patiently, this is the wisdom my child imparted: “You know, Mom, I get that you are frustrated things didn’t go the way you wanted, but here’s some perspective. You were still ABLE to TRY, and that is a huge victory! A few months ago, that wouldn’t have been possible…” I sat there dumbfounded. Such wisdom!

In a small group, a friend bravely asked, “Am I the only one who feels they have to justify being a stay at home mom now that my kids are older?” We heard the heaviness with which she spoke. The internal conflict of her heart. “May I offer some encouragement?” I asked. “Yes, please,” she responded. “You, my friend, are a full time health provider for four people.” She looked questioningly at me. “Your youngest, your oldest, your husband, and yourself. And you absolutely should count yourself, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be able to care for the others.” Tears streamed down her face. “Thank you,” she mustered. “I needed that perspective.”

In a brief conversation with a new friend, she proclaimed something for me that had been my heart’s desire for a number of years. “I thought of you the other day. The Bible Study chapter we just finished talked about rejoicing when it makes no sense and being more real. That’s a lot like your ministry.” My ministry? I have a ministry? I’ve simply been striving to obediently share…I wouldn’t have claimed “Let’s Get REAL Together” as my ministry, but she saw life of it’s existence from her perspective.

Perspective is defined as “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”

If you are editing a photo, you have multiple perspective options…conveniently displayed at the bottom of your screen for choosing. Oh if life were that easy! To be able to simply “select” how you react or regard something in an instant! Or tweak it, just to your liking, by adjusting the brilliance, color, or sharpness. We would become masterful in manufacturing precision-perfect perspectives in any given situation. We would be able to edit out feelings of guilt or inadequacy. We would feel comfortable enough to truly be REAL, release each anxiety/lie, because our perspective would always be “on point.”

My friend, this “magical” editing option IS available to us. If we align our hearts, minds, and words with His truths, then we would have the power to change our perspective, in an instant! It takes diligence, diving into His Word daily. It takes relinquishing what we think we know and seeking His infallible truth about who we are. It takes practiced discipline to take a step back (and sometimes a deep breath) before we latch onto or unleash falsehood. It’s all in the perspective, or lens, in which we view things. His lens is forever filtered by grace, love, and mercy. We need to become more familiar with seeing things through His lens, because it is infinitely sharper and more accurate than Apple’s latest offerings.

Adrian Rogers wrote, “Wisdom is looking at life from God’s point of view.”

Let’s become wise and seek His truth in our perspective.