Wisdom – Let's Get REAL Together

Breathe

March 29, 2023March 29, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

“Give me a couple days to come up for air.” “I’m just now able to catch my breath.” “When things slow down and I can breathe again…”

Any of these sound familiar? We run around, stretching ourselves so thin, we forget to do the very thing that gives us life: breathe. Denying ourselves the space and opportunity to breathe reeks havoc on our bodies, raises our stress levels, and renders us virtually incapable of handling “the small stuff.”

The funniest part? We don’t even realize we’re not breathing! “Breathe…” I repeatedly used to hear during PT. I would focus so diligently on whatever task was immediately at hand, that apparently, I quite literally forget to breathe. And as I unknowingly held my breath, things increasingly became more and more difficult. You feel me? Am I alone on this one?

When God created Adam, He breathed life into him. When Jesus returned and revealed Himself to His disciples, He breathed on them in order to receive the Holy Spirit. Breath and breathing, you see, are vitally important in life—enough that the Bible specifically references it more than once.

When you breathe, you allow room to receive. You create a space that’s conducive to work within. You enable oxygen to flow through your body, which improves healing, performance, and a plethora of other beneficial items. So why on Earth do we cripple ourselves trying to do more, when it causes us to forget the basics?

Hilariously (or not so), I wrote this four years ago. I am profoundly aware of the divine timing in which my own words resurfaced in FB memories. Isn’t it incredible how God works both through and ahead of us? I appreciate His timing even when I can’t fathom the “why” of the moment. Here’s where I take a deep breath, sigh, and audibly exhale.

Friends, let’s learn to breathe again.
Let’s stop drowning ourselves in the “more” this world idolizes, preoccupying ourselves with the devil’s “what if’s,” and withholding the very thing that gives us life. Let’s become better in the basics…it may just be the breath of life that revives us, giving us the opportunity to breathe life into others alongside our own journey.
Breathe, my friends. Just breathe.

Extraordinary

November 12, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

Can we all agree there are some touchy, hot topics that make us cringey? You know the saying, “never talk politics or religion in polite company,” because all too often, what ensues is anything but polite. We are deeply passionate about our convictions, which means, these types of conversations can result in a messy blood bath of hurt feelings. Ok, I think I’ve correctly set it up.

Here we go…

While around the dinner table the other night, one of “those” topics came up. As soon as the conversation started, I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to get up and do the dishes, which I despise. I wanted to hear how the exchange unfolded but definitely didn’t want to participate, because it was one of those “no win” subjects. Been there, done that—not fun.

This time, what I witnessed was a tremendous victory, for both participants. No one raised their voice, there were several “in my opinions,” and even a few “I can see your point.” The result? A completely civil dialogue of polar positions. What a rare gem and teachable moment, prompting me to say “I’m really proud of you!”

I should have added “thank you.” Thank you for showing me it’s absolutely possible: positively navigating a conversation that could have spiraled wildly wrong. Thank you for displaying unbelievable empathy: collaborating, so neither felt compromised.

I am proud of the good human we raised and the patience my husband provided. When you work together, genuinely listening instead of mentally listing potential rebuttals, you allow space to consider and come away less crushed. Speaking with conviction, in lieu of condemnation, grants the continuation of a civil conversation and takes courage. Loving each other well means conventional “compliance” looks different as you cultivate a gracefully evolved relationship. This is TRUE connection that extends well beyond the years spent under one roof.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
James 1:19-20 ESV

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Colossians 4:6 ESV

So in my REA/L moment with you today, no matter the situation or topic, take heed of His words. Saving face is infinitely more valuable than a temporary victory; because in any relationship, when this wisdom in applied, the reward is mutually persued longevity. An extraordinary and precious gift.

Wealth Worth

September 30, 2021September 30, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Sometimes I wake up thinking, what am I doing with my life? I’m X years old, what do I have to show for it? As if I didn’t already have my own purpose anxieties, I’ve even heard “your children have long past primary schooling, when are going back to work?” That one still stings.

Even as I write this, I feel compelled to tell you that I ran a successful business for twelve years, then proceed to walk you through the rest of my resume in attempts to validate my worth. Sad really. But as I exhale this venomous thought process, I am reminded of this verse:

“Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents],even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 AMP

The Bible doesn’t have a cutoff timeframe for this. Why should I allow any devaluation of my work? The Bible also does not delineate one type of work as better than another. The only “job matrix” of any value is laid out here:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Matthew 22:36-40

Need a simplified pretty pin worthy version?

Find one right thing and do it. Then repeat. Serve with an altruistic purpose. Then search for the next opportunity to do so. A job title doesn’t define your purpose. Worth isn’t confined to the walls of an office, held hostage by digits in an account, or sourced within social media clicks. Please, let’s stop perpetually feeding that lie.

Whether you are changing the world or changing a diaper. Changing your community’s landscape or changing the laundry. Changing lives inside a classroom or changing the emotional climate within the framework of your own home. Serve with the pure purpose of God’s Greatest Commandment. THAT, my friend, is why we’re here and holds tremendous value. Plain and simple.

I may not always get it right. But as long as I find one right thing and do it, I can rest with assurance that I’m on the right path. Truly worthy wealth worth.

BRAVE

September 24, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

As a fun “Mom” thing, I check the Nation Day Calendar for fun things to surprise the family—brought home some delish cream filled donuts, gone out for ice cream, made sure we ate burgers, etc. While there seems to be a reoccurring food theme, there are a barrage of other things on calendar to celebrate. For example, today is National BRAVE DAY. I absolutely love this!

Merriam-Webster defines brave as “having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : having or showing courage” Think there are various parts of our lives that we all wish we were a bit more brave. Or maybe, you don’t see yourself as brave at all? Today is an excellent opportunity to evaluate our thoughts on being brave. Let’s dive into this together!

Do you wake up each morning and get out of bed? Do you share? Do you seek to better yourself? Do you have a loved one? Do you ask for help? If you answered yes to ANY of these, you indeed are brave my friend!

Waking up and being present to face the day’s challenges. Giving a part of yourself. Learning to be better. These all require courage, whether you believe it or not. Give yourself some credit here (also courageous 😉).

Bravery grows silently and exponentially. Seeing someone doing something we’d like to do, which spurs us to also try, is the seed of courage. Simply thinking “maybe I can” or “I’d like to give that a shot” is a brave bud bursting through its shell.

Ever said, “Hey, I’m going to X, wanna join me?” BRAVE.

Tackling anything new? BRAVE.

Trying again? BRAVE.

Trust me, you are BRAVE!

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
Winnie the Pooh

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.”
2 Timothy 1:7 CSB

“Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.”
Emma Donoghue

So in my REA/L moment with you today, on this National BRAVE day, I want you to hear one thing. I see you being brave, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. 😘

Community

August 31, 2021August 31, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

What does community look like for you?Does it need to be in the perfect location? Lots of mature trees and green space? Maybe in city center? Near the important things? Work, school, Target? Should it have a pool, dog park, or other amenities?

These are the things I see on HGTV’s numerous homebuyers wish list. As someone who’s recently looked at houses, I can honestly say, most of these would also be high up on the community list for me. These are all the “creature comforts,” locationally speaking. Community, as in a place, is only one of five basic types. The other four (interest, action, practice, and circumstance), I’d argue, are far more valuable because they are relational.

Common interests. A call to action for making some kind of impact. Practicing similar work, recreational, or kid activities. Bonding through everyday or crisis situations. These are also what I’d call “community.” And these—these are huge motivators for staying in communities.

Just after “Love the Lord your God” as Jesus’ first Commandment is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

We often think of “neighbor” in terms of proximity, or again, location; however, I do not believe this is what Jesus was talking about. Not. At. All. I think we need to go back a few pages in Matthew to chapter 7: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (verse 12 EVS).

The Golden Rule. We are all familiar with it. Probably memorized it before we left first grade. Somehow though, I think a majority of us throw this rule out the window when it doesn’t “suit” us. Myself included (ouch that hurt to say).

Community (neighbors) are either brought together or torn apart by how this Golden Rule is applied. *Read that again*

Now, I realize this is a generalized statement, but it seems like part of society has traded kindness for convenience—fed by the “me first” mentality. It’s just easier to focus on my needs, my priorities, my ideology. This is taking loving thyself (the second part of the second commandment) totally out of context, and to the detriment of others.

Kindness DOES matter. How you treat another person, both in person or behind the scenes, matters. Proverbs 17:22 (NLT) says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”

We are a broken people, living in a broken place. But hear me out, there is good news! If we abide by the Golden Rule, apply the second Commandment, and work to BUILD community…my friends, what a blessed respite that would be! A beautiful Heaven on Earth experience, in a real, tangible way.

Today, let’s pray these pearls of wisdom the Bible lays out (starting with ourselves) over our family, friends, community, and those we may not currently see eye to eye with in accordance with our Lord’s Commandments. Amen.

Beloved not Behind

January 13, 2021January 13, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

There’s a fantastic button on the Bible App when you’ve fallen behind, rather missed a few days, on your reading plan. It does this magical thing…Instead of displaying your tardiness, this button will simply reassign the dates and corresponding readings. This makes it appear that you’ve consistently done the work, on time, and are currently on track. If only there were a “Catch Me Up” button for life.

Sometimes we get hung up, stuck if you will, thinking we are behind, and it paralyzes us. We can’t move forward because we are already behind the power curve before we even start. It’s self imposed. Ridiculous. And very real, at least to most of us.

Point in case: a friend gave me a lovely, undated planner. I had grand plans for how I would use it. I was excited about it. And on January 11th, when I held it in my hands to begin, I froze.

Should I attempt to go back to January 1st and scour my memory for what I “needed” to put in for the “missing” days?

Would it be weird to start my undated calendar on January 11th?

Could I even keep up with a planner seeing as how I didn’t start it at the beginning of the year?

I sat there, holding this book, feeling deflated before writing a single thing inside. Certainly this not at all how I planned to start my year (pun intended)! Where was the “Catch Me Up” button that I so desperately needed?

Even as I type this, I realize how insane it sounds. Is there a law that says all personal use calendars must unequivocally start January 1 or be forfeited until the following year? Where in the life’s rule book is it written that all must subscribe to “traditional” start/end dates? Who gets to decide these things?

I do. Me. No one else.

Life does not have a magical “Catch Me Up” button. It has a “Start” and “End” button, which you do not get control over. We have jurisdiction over how we move (up/down, left/right, forward/backward). We do not govern the time component. We are stewards of it. However, we act as though we are hopelessly trapped, living life caught up in a self defeating world of shoulda, woulda, coulda. Wrapped up in time constraints that don’t actually exist.

So on January 11th, I became a rule breaker. I began my 2021 calendar on a date other than January 1st. I decided I wouldn’t let some arbitrary rule dictate how or when I should start something good for myself. I would no longer allow someone else’s “reality stick” to beat me up. I am in charge of my own life’s actions, and I would not waste any more time feeling like I was behind the power curve. That self imposed lie would no longer strangle me.

Today is January 13th. It’s a Wednesday, traditionally thought of as hump day. The middle of the week. No one begins anything in the middle, right? WRONG! You can. Today can be your start point.

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days” (Ephesians 5:15-16 NLT).

This is living by the Spirit’s power. This is how we act like the good stewards God intended us to be. This is our measure.

Start this very moment, my friend. No matter the day or time. Be wise. You are not behind, only beloved.

Stand Upon the Roadblocks

November 9, 2020November 9, 2024by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

For years, I’ve dreamed that I would be a motivational speaker. I specifically remember standing on a stage in high school for some sort of speech event, believing with all my heart…this is where I belonged. I desperately wanted to pour into others (acts of service is my primary love language), breathe life into them, help them unleash their potential, and provide an avenue for them to see their worth. This dream hasn’t fled, rather, found itself somewhat tweaked.

As I recently sat outside in the sun, getting some good ol’ natural vitamin D, I scrolled through the day’s FB memories, and had to smile. It was interesting to discover that I’ve been writing much longer than I realized. One of the memories that popped up was an inspiration I’d written in 2011. I suppose I’ve written long before I had a mindful desire to also be a writer.

In 2017, out of necessity, I started writing as my primary vehicle for communicating. It was simply easier and faster than trying to find my actual voice. Certainly more readily understandable. I did not realize, at the time, what an impact it was making. I was simply trying to “speak.” All the years I’d unknowingly “practiced” writing proved fruitful. Not only was I “heard,” but somehow, apparently, I was helping as well—sharing scripture, bits of my story, and positive prospectives. Even when I felt completely incapable, I was contributing in a way I’d never thought possible: I had become a source of inspiration for others.

As children, we dream BIG without hesitation. Astronaut. Princess. Professional Sports. Doctor. Dancer. You name it, we thought we could do it. BE it. The reluctancy we develop as adults can cripple us to cease believing what could be possible. It becomes more comfortable residing in “reality” instead of continuing to dream. And thus, most adults will still jokingly say, “when I grow up, I want to…” (insert: learn to do X, travel more, finally be X, etc) because they do not feel complete, haven’t accomplished all the things they’ve envisioned for themselves. Their dreams dissolved, disappeared, because they could no longer see it as a reality.

Here’s where my story continues. Stuck in the middle. Not yet finished. I am well spoken, or at least the Toastmasters thought so when I visited a few meetings. But for now, I’m relegated again to communicating through “written” words. And yet, miraculously, somehow I am “speaking” affirmation into others.

I share this not out of boastfulness, rather, to prove a point. Life will throw you curveballs, you may even get clobbered, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to dream. Take and build upon them, my friend. Be bold! Believe you CAN, and make daily strides towards any sort of forward motion. Stand upon the roadblocks, using them as a stepping stone. Dig deep and you will be surprised what surfaces. The world will marvel in wonder at the meticulously cultivated pearl you’ve created from within.

I am an author, motivator, and speaker. It’s not how or in the way I’d envisioned, but I believe it to true. As my journey unfolds, I’m encouraged to build upon my dream. See how grandiose I can make it. It will not work if I don’t. I pray you will do the same. Don’t allow your dreams to be buried along with you! It would be a wasted spark that might have been exactly what you were purposed for, my friend!

Stop Looking

November 6, 2020November 6, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

When I experienced sudden, bizarre symptoms that took hold of my body three years ago, my friends and I joked that I was a “unicorn,” because no one had previously seen anything like me. Upon reflection, this analogy is deeply misleading. Unicorns, as you know, are mythical creatures and what I experienced was soberingly real. I went through nearly a year of frequent doctor visits, several IV treatments, speech therapy, physical therapy, and essentially relearned how to translate everything my brain wanted to do into physical action.

Flash forward to this past Sunday. I was outside moving firewood in preparation for our next cold snap when a large, hidden scorpion stung my thumb through the gloves I had on. I screamed, as the pain was instantaneous, and thankfully my husband immediately came to see what was wrong. Through sobs, I managed to get out what had occurred. He tended to my sting while trying to console me. After some time (a few minutes? several?), I told him my head felt heavy, and he helped me inside to bed.

When stung, scorpions release venom, containing a mix of toxins into its victim, affecting the nervous system. This is where it gets interesting. For whatever reason, my central nervous system has had multiple intermittent unexplained mini-episodes since “recovering” from my previous syndrome three years ago. Now, this scorpion sting caused most of my debilitating symptoms to return. Hoping they would simply resolve with rest, I spent the rest of the day in bed. Sadly, this was not the case, and my neurologist recommended we go to the ER.

My worst nightmare. Again. You see, I didn’t exactly “fit the mold” for an easy diagnosis previously. I didn’t check all the typical boxes for any one thing. Even after spending over a week in the hospital, I was discharged without a specific “name” for what ailed me. And I was afraid this bad dream was about to repeat itself. All because a stupid scorpion stung me.

Thankfully, I only spent three days in the hospital this time, but the result was the same. “We don’t know”….why my legs weren’t working properly…why my senses were off the chart…why my voice wasn’t audible and speech broken. So I left. In a wheelchair. No diagnosis. Again.

My friend recently gave me this solace: They were looking for a horse (common diagnosis). You are a zebra (out of the ordinary diagnosis).

Zebras are unique. Just like a fingerprint, no two are the same. There it is…a name! I am a zebra. I do not fit the common mold. For now, I am ok with that. I don’t need a specific scientific name to validate or define me. While it might make things easier to explain or help others understand, it doesn’t change where I am today.

My heart goes out to all those who are battling the unknown. Living with something that doesn’t quite fit neatly into a category. Experiencing the frustration of those who just don’t get it. Judged for OTHER’S belief that you are simply making it up. Isolated because no one knows what to say or do.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, I pray you would stop fruitlessly searching for an Earthly name to define you. Stop listening to the voices and opinions of those who are not helpful. Instead, focus on the one who uniquely created you.

Beautiful you.

Wonderful you.

You, who are made in His image.

No one on Earth knows exactly what He looks like and have never seen Him face to face but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist. There is only one name that truly matters: Child of the One True King. You are His beloved. You matter. You are loved. And THAT is what defines you. Stop looking for Earthly validation in a name that does not hold eternal weight. Live in His loving goodness, my zebra friends. This will bring healing to your body and make it well within your soul.

Enough

September 16, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

This morning, I “happened to” call a friend out of the blue. Truthfully, I cannot even recall what the prompting was. We chatted, as if no time had passed since we’d last talked, and it just plain felt good. Normal. As we were hanging up, I made reflexive apologies for my accent and thanked my friend listening through my broken speech. She responded with, “yes I know you have an accent, but I just hear you.” Instant tears In that moment, I felt all the ridiculous insecurities about the voice that comes out of my mouth, which currently does not sound at all like “me,” melt away. Just like that.

To my friends who have had enough…

Feel they aren’t enough…

Think they aren’t (blank) enough…

I see you. And more importantly, El Roi does.

My prayer for you today is you see past the imperfection, deficit, or affliction that is weighing upon you. Blur it out through the lens of God’s filter. Apply as easily and readily as any go to media filter. Roll past it like the waves lap upon the shore—focused, purposeful, and swiftly. Change your position, literally. Pluck yourself from the rubble you feel has accumulated around, suffocating you. And hear me say these words to you:

YOU MATTER

You are enough. As is. Right now. This moment. Breathe that glorious truth in, then exhale the rest.

How can I say this truth with outright assertion? Because God tells us “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). So whatever you may think, feel, or see as weakness is actually just the opposite. It is in these spaces where God is strongest and declares you enough through His power. And that my friends, should be enough.

Imbalance

July 23, 2020July 23, 2020by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

im·bal·ance

/imˈbaləns/

noun: “lack of proportion or relation between corresponding things”

A state of being where all the right components are present, but the ratio is off…too much or not enough of one thing, causing the inverse of another.

Let me give you a different example. Suppose you have the new Ferrari Portofino. By all accounts, this is a beautiful, finely tuned machine, made for the road. But what if that road was a mind field of loose asphalt, riddled with mammoth potholes and super-sized speed bumps every 100 feet? Not necessarily “ideal” and definitely an imbalance in car to road performance ratio, don’t you think?

Here I lie, imbalanced. Mind working at warp speed, body unable to translate. Somehow, there was a shift, and I missed it. Or maybe I just wasn’t paying attention? Regardless, I thought I had gotten myself back in balance, ready to conquer the world, running on all cylinders. Maybe that’s my issue…I returned to old unhealthy habits.

One thing I have learned through the roller coaster of my last few years is this: it’s so easy to unknowingly exist in a state of imbalance…until the scale becomes completely unbalanced, and you come crashing down. Or is this just how it works for me? I have a feeling, though, that I’m not alone in this arena.

Balance, in this world, especially with our current combative climate, through this crazy pandemic, might seem unobtainable. But as I lie here, it comes to me in a moment of clarity…I not only lack balance, I’m completely missing my foundation! I’ve stopped seeking Him first. Traditional worship has been removed. I’ve become haphazard in my prayer life.

Do I think God caused our current less than desirable condition? Absolutely not! Do I believe our lack of priorities has resulted in an imbalance? Absolutely! A little more Netflix (Prime, YouTube, social media, pick your poison) and a little less God is a recipe for disaster, in any climate…but particularly one as tumultuous as our present position.

You see, the difference between imbalance and in balance is this: a little less of one thing (shave a portion off the ‘m’) and a little more space added in front of balance (so it has room to breathe). And what we breathe (ie take in) is equally important. Scrolling through all the latest negative commentary on a school district parent group, drinking and eating whatever whenever, or binge watching mindless TV/videos/TikToks does NOT lead you down the path towards balance (madness is more likely).

I think in our toilet paper hoarding mindset, we have almost completely lost sight of what Italians call “quanto basta” (just enough). We don’t have definitive answers in so many areas of our lives that we grasp at whatever we can get our hands on. And in our desperate attempt to get a handle on things, instead of getting “just enough,” we are drowning ourselves in garbage. Eating garbage. Watching garbage. Buying tons of garbage. Making ourselves feel like garbage.

“Dear friends, you already know these things. So be on your guard not to be carried away by the deception of people who have no principles. Then you won’t fall from your firm position. But grow in the good grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Glory belongs to him now and for that eternal day! Amen.”
2 Peter 3:17-18 GW

We must return to longing, seeking, searching, worshipping and praising what will last far beyond anything this temporal world offers. We must beware the siren song of imbalance that beacons us away from being in balance. We must master what matters—pursuing what’s best. Him.