Tag: Speak

Extraordinary

by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments on Extraordinary
Extraordinary

Can we all agree there are some touchy, hot topics that make us cringey? You know the saying, “never talk politics or religion in polite company,” because all too often, what ensues is anything but polite. We are deeply passionate about our convictions, which means, these types of conversations can result in a messy blood bath of hurt feelings. Ok, I think I’ve correctly set it up.

Here we go…

While around the dinner table the other night, one of “those” topics came up. As soon as the conversation started, I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to get up and do the dishes, which I despise. I wanted to hear how the exchange unfolded but definitely didn’t want to participate, because it was one of those “no win” subjects. Been there, done that—not fun.

This time, what I witnessed was a tremendous victory, for both participants. No one raised their voice, there were several “in my opinions,” and even a few “I can see your point.” The result? A completely civil dialogue of polar positions. What a rare gem and teachable moment, prompting me to say “I’m really proud of you!”

I should have added “thank you.” Thank you for showing me it’s absolutely possible: positively navigating a conversation that could have spiraled wildly wrong. Thank you for displaying unbelievable empathy: collaborating, so neither felt compromised.

I am proud of the good human we raised and the patience my husband provided. When you work together, genuinely listening instead of mentally listing potential rebuttals, you allow space to consider and come away less crushed. Speaking with conviction, in lieu of condemnation, grants the continuation of a civil conversation and takes courage. Loving each other well means conventional “compliance” looks different as you cultivate a gracefully evolved relationship. This is TRUE connection that extends well beyond the years spent under one roof.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

James 1:19-20 ESV

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Colossians 4:6 ESV

So in my REA/L moment with you today, no matter the situation or topic, take heed of His words. Saving face is infinitely more valuable than a temporary victory; because in any relationship, when this wisdom in applied, the reward is mutually persued longevity. An extraordinary and precious gift.

SOS

by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment on SOS
SOS

March 30, 2020

SOS/ˌesōˈes/noun

  1. an international code signal of extreme distress, used especially by ships at sea.
  2. an urgent appeal for help.

Did you know these three letters don’t actually stand for anything (according to a Mental Floss article)? But if you see and/or hear “SOS,” you immediately know someone is need of dire assistance. It’s one of those little nuggets that somehow has gotten plugged into our brains, and no one is really certain of the actual origin, it just “is what it is.”

In a time when social distancing is the “norm” (wow, that feels so surreal to type), we are missing out on all kinds of cues. On my jog this morning, I smile and give the neighborly wave to those passing by…sometimes, there’s the quick trite exchange: How are you? Good, you? All good. With all that is going on in the world, it’s hard to show your hand in these brief chats.

I want to hug you, but I can’t.

I want to put my hand on your shoulder and ask, “how are things really going?”

I want to tell you, please pray from my dear friend who suddenly lost his job.

I want you to know I don’t have it all together.

I want us to go back to when things weren’t so uncertain.

I feel like I am in a perpetually looping Rihanna song:

“S.O.S., please someone help me
It’s not healthy for me to feel this
Y.O.U. are making this hard
I can’t take it, see it don’t feel right”

Except this isn’t about being lovesick over a boy, it’s feeling heart wrecked about what this social distancing is doing to my kids who desperately miss their friends (and shockingly going to a physical school). It’s seeing the desperation in my community as news feed after news feed pleads, “where can I find eggs, flour, or paper towels?” It’s hearing the unspoken aching in texting my loved ones outside of our four walls, “love and miss you.”

SOS

I keep feeling an urge to write, but if I’m being real, I’m not sure what I have to offer. I certainly do not have the answers. I don’t want to come across as being a princess on a pedestal, completely oblivious and immune to what’s happening. But what I desperately want to do is help. I am a servant at heart, and serving is one of my love languages. It’s in this vein that I share something that has been bouncing around in my head for a few days now…

It started after seeing a post about “chalk you walk,” offering an encouraging message written or drawn on your driveway. I joked and said, mine would read “spread joy not germs,” followed by #WashYourHands underneath. Over the last week, I kept seeing one of those “Hello my name is” labels in my head that had “I’m new” written in the blank space. This whole experience is “new” for all of us! We ought to be doling out grace by the bucketful right now! Positivity seems to have taken a backseat to fear and divisiveness. It makes me sad, hurts my heart, and makes me want to cry.

SOS. Extreme distress. Urgent appeal for help.

But what if we applied this theory by Wayne Dyer instead?

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

What if, when we felt ourselves in extreme distress, in need of urgent help, we hailed a different SOS?

If we dug deep, and found something POSITIVE in our current situation.

If instead of flaring up, we took a breath and offered GRACE.

If we simply chose to count it all JOY, no matter the circumstances.

This simple shift in how we choose to operate would make a monumental change in not just our lives within our own four walls but our communities and beyond (I sounded like Buzz Lightyear for a moment)! While I know thinking must seem a bit naive, I cannot get it out of my head. Our world has been turned upside down by this virus, and there is little we can do about it (other than social distancing and thoroughly washing our hands). However, we can change the way we look at things and how we allow things to impact us. This is a life hack that will serve us well after COVID-19 is a thing of the past!

Spread positivity. Offer grace. Share joy.

We will get through this, friends.

We will get together socially again.

And I pray, when we do, we will all be better human beings.

Growth

by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments on Growth
Growth

October 30, 2019

Infants are amazing to watch. Their growth with the first year of life is exponential. It seems like overnight, development happens. You can easily see changes as they are honed in and refined. Each day is a beautiful display of enthusiastic growth.

As we mature, growth becomes more difficult to detect. Maybe it’s because we are distracted. Maybe it’s because we are so set in our ways, we no longer hold the desire for growth. Maybe it’s because we the process has become so painfully slow that we honestly don’t recognize it.

Growth is gradual.

Growth takes effort.

Growth requires patience.

Have you thought about what area of your life you’d like to see growth?Where are you focusing your efforts? The screen I am currently staring at certainly won’t “grow” me; however, utilized correctly, it can be a vehicle towards growth. The time I spend, like bills in my wallet, have a direct impact on my growth investment. While the returns may be small and incremental initially, the longer they are deposited, the larger the return. The more I look, inspect what needs to be pruned and trim away where necessary, the more growth potential I see and ultimately experience.

You never know who is attempting to grow…or where…unless you speak up and ask. Your friends and family may not recognize your growth process, unless you are bold in sharing. You will not grow without focused effort, which can easily be derailed. You need to add in outside assistance as you seek to grown. If you don’t have support, or fertilizer, to fuel you forward towards your goal, you may never reach it. Transformational growth doesn’t just “happen.”

So today, I proclaim where I’m stretching and growing. I’m venturing out to learn about the video world, so that I can grow this ministry. This is uncharted territory for me, frankly intimidating, but is absolutely necessary if I am to continue obediently sharing and see real growth. Any divine inspiration started will make an impact. If this is where you are, my friend, I applaud you! I’d love to hear how I may support you. But consider this: how exponential will a divine inspiration realized, brought forth through consistent patient gradual growth, impact His kingdom? I don’t know…but I am child-like in my excitement to this process towards fruition.

Be bold with me! Share what are you working towards for the growth of others. It’s an incredible experience!