In a recent conversation with someone whom I dearly love, she asked how my recovery was going. Here’s the exchange that followed:
I’m ok. Just need to remember how to be a patient again. You’d think with all the times I’ve been in the “patient” situation it would be easier.
Nah, I get it. Every time you fight your way back to feeling good again, it’s even harder to sit still and work back up to fully functional again. It makes sense. ❤️ But you come back better each time. 😉
This. I so needed to hear this today. Maybe you need it as well. You come back better. Again, and again. I’m not sure if she intentionally used that word twice in one sentence, but it stood out to me.
We all go through stuff, have trauma, and it’s ok to feel an obesity of emotions. Then afterwards, we gotta stand up again (and again). Choose to fight—not in a violent, rather overcomer way. FIGHT!
Find
Incredible
Goodness
tHrough
Trauma
“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
Jane (Nightbirdie) Marczewski
It’s the in spite of, not the trauma, that should steal our focus. The wildflower growing out of the sidewalk. The rainbow in the storm. The unavoidable laughter through tears. THAT kind of joy, an impregnable goodness, is infectious in the best possible way.
The world needs more of this. See, share, spread this. FIGHT, my friends.
For years, I’ve dreamed that I would be a motivational speaker. I specifically remember standing on a stage in high school for some sort of speech event, believing with all my heart…this is where I belonged. I desperately wanted to pour into others (acts of service is my primary love language), breathe life into them, help them unleash their potential, and provide an avenue for them to see their worth. This dream hasn’t fled, rather, found itself somewhat tweaked.
As I recently sat outside in the sun, getting some good ol’ natural vitamin D, I scrolled through the day’s FB memories, and had to smile. It was interesting to discover that I’ve been writing much longer than I realized. One of the memories that popped up was an inspiration I’d written in 2011. I suppose I’ve written long before I had a mindful desire to also be a writer.
In 2017, out of necessity, I started writing as my primary vehicle for communicating. It was simply easier and faster than trying to find my actual voice. Certainly more readily understandable. I did not realize, at the time, what an impact it was making. I was simply trying to “speak.” All the years I’d unknowingly “practiced” writing proved fruitful. Not only was I “heard,” but somehow, apparently, I was helping as well—sharing scripture, bits of my story, and positive prospectives. Even when I felt completely incapable, I was contributing in a way I’d never thought possible: I had become a source of inspiration for others.
As children, we dream BIG without hesitation. Astronaut. Princess. Professional Sports. Doctor. Dancer. You name it, we thought we could do it. BE it. The reluctancy we develop as adults can cripple us to cease believing what could be possible. It becomes more comfortable residing in “reality” instead of continuing to dream. And thus, most adults will still jokingly say, “when I grow up, I want to…” (insert: learn to do X, travel more, finally be X, etc) because they do not feel complete, haven’t accomplished all the things they’ve envisioned for themselves. Their dreams dissolved, disappeared, because they could no longer see it as a reality.
Here’s where my story continues. Stuck in the middle. Not yet finished. I am well spoken, or at least the Toastmasters thought so when I visited a few meetings. But for now, I’m relegated again to communicating through “written” words. And yet, miraculously, somehow I am “speaking” affirmation into others.
I share this not out of boastfulness, rather, to prove a point. Life will throw you curveballs, you may even get clobbered, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to dream. Take and build upon them, my friend. Be bold! Believe you CAN, and make daily strides towards any sort of forward motion. Stand upon the roadblocks, using them as a stepping stone. Dig deep and you will be surprised what surfaces. The world will marvel in wonder at the meticulously cultivated pearl you’ve created from within.
I am an author, motivator, and speaker. It’s not how or in the way I’d envisioned, but I believe it to true. As my journey unfolds, I’m encouraged to build upon my dream. See how grandiose I can make it. It will not work if I don’t. I pray you will do the same. Don’t allow your dreams to be buried along with you! It would be a wasted spark that might have been exactly what you were purposed for, my friend!
What do these have in common? Strength. This does not necessarily mean the “instead of” is the polar opposite and therefore weakness. But that is exactly how our minds work, doesn’t it? According to a cursory Google search, thinking in opposites can make you a genius, help with anxiety, or bring awareness to our often fickle thoughts. Sometimes it’s helpful, other times it’s not (how’s that for an opposition argument?). Today, I want to focus on the feeling strength evokes.
Strong feels good.
Strong portfolio, good. Mentally strong, good. Strong coffee, good. Unless of course you do not feel the same way I do about coffee.
Strong /strôNG/ (adjective) defined:
1. having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.
2. able to withstand great force or pressure.
3. very intense.
4. used after a number to indicate the size of a group.
Strong can not only be defined in many ways, it also looks different for each of us. And how things look, rather how we perceive things, has a direct correlation with how we feel about them. Bottom line, strong may look AND feel different for each of us because, simply put, WE are different. Which brings me back to the opposite mentality…
There’s so much of our world that’s polarized. And we all have strong opinions. Feelings, if you will. That doesn’t make one side right and the other wrong. I think that’s precisely where we get hung up. Just because we feel a certain way does not make it right. It also doesn’t make it wrong. It simply makes it a feeling.
Here’s my DREAM (Dramatically Radical Edifying Action in Motion): let’s spend our time building ourselves and others up, AT THE SAME TIME! While I realize this may not always be possible concurrently, it can definitely happen individually. With practice in one, the other will also vicariously benefit. That, my friends, doesn’t just feel good…in my humble opinion, it IS good. It makes us strong. And strong feels good.
an international code signal of extreme distress, used especially by ships at sea.
an urgent appeal for help.
Did you know these three letters don’t actually stand for anything (according to a Mental Floss article)? But if you see and/or hear “SOS,” you immediately know someone is need of dire assistance. It’s one of those little nuggets that somehow has gotten plugged into our brains, and no one is really certain of the actual origin, it just “is what it is.”
In a time when social distancing is the “norm” (wow, that feels so surreal to type), we are missing out on all kinds of cues. On my jog this morning, I smile and give the neighborly wave to those passing by…sometimes, there’s the quick trite exchange: How are you? Good, you? All good. With all that is going on in the world, it’s hard to show your hand in these brief chats.
I want to hug you, but I can’t.
I want to put my hand on your shoulder and ask, “how are things really going?”
I want to tell you, please pray from my dear friend who suddenly lost his job.
I want you to know I don’t have it all together.
I want us to go back to when things weren’t so uncertain.
I feel like I am in a perpetually looping Rihanna song:
“S.O.S., please someone help me It’s not healthy for me to feel this Y.O.U. are making this hard I can’t take it, see it don’t feel right”
Except this isn’t about being lovesick over a boy, it’s feeling heart wrecked about what this social distancing is doing to my kids who desperately miss their friends (and shockingly going to a physical school). It’s seeing the desperation in my community as news feed after news feed pleads, “where can I find eggs, flour, or paper towels?” It’s hearing the unspoken aching in texting my loved ones outside of our four walls, “love and miss you.”
SOS
I keep feeling an urge to write, but if I’m being real, I’m not sure what I have to offer. I certainly do not have the answers. I don’t want to come across as being a princess on a pedestal, completely oblivious and immune to what’s happening. But what I desperately want to do is help. I am a servant at heart, and serving is one of my love languages. It’s in this vein that I share something that has been bouncing around in my head for a few days now…
It started after seeing a post about “chalk you walk,” offering an encouraging message written or drawn on your driveway. I joked and said, mine would read “spread joy not germs,” followed by #WashYourHands underneath. Over the last week, I kept seeing one of those “Hello my name is” labels in my head that had “I’m new” written in the blank space. This whole experience is “new” for all of us! We ought to be doling out grace by the bucketful right now! Positivity seems to have taken a backseat to fear and divisiveness. It makes me sad, hurts my heart, and makes me want to cry.
SOS. Extreme distress. Urgent appeal for help.
But what if we applied this theory by Wayne Dyer instead?
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
What if, when we felt ourselves in extreme distress, in need of urgent help, we hailed a different SOS?
If we dug deep, and found something POSITIVE in our current situation.
If instead of flaring up, we took a breath and offered GRACE.
If we simply chose to count it all JOY, no matter the circumstances.
This simple shift in how we choose to operate would make a monumental change in not just our lives within our own four walls but our communities and beyond (I sounded like Buzz Lightyear for a moment)! While I know thinking must seem a bit naive, I cannot get it out of my head. Our world has been turned upside down by this virus, and there is little we can do about it (other than social distancing and thoroughly washing our hands). However, we can change the way we look at things and how we allow things to impact us. This is a life hack that will serve us well after COVID-19 is a thing of the past!
Spread positivity. Offer grace. Share joy.
We will get through this, friends.
We will get together socially again.
And I pray, when we do, we will all be better human beings.
In uncertain times, it’s easy to get swept up in all the mania! It looms above like thick clouds waiting to burst and drown us in its deluge. It swirls around us like annoying summer misquotes ready to bite. It stares intensely like an animal waiting to pounce and devour. Frankly, it could possibly be more harmful than what we are currently facing around the globe…
OR
We can decide to flip the switch and simply turn it off. Yes, we need to stay informed; however, we do NOT need to be enslaved by all this craziness! While you and I do not have the ability to make others comply with regulations, whether it be social distancing or hoarding, we unequivocally DO have the power to control our own actions and mindset.
Today, I decided to flip the switch, and it was WONDERFUL! Instead of fretting about my compromised immune and respiratory systems, I tried something: I went outside and ran. This is a HUGE victory because I physically have not been able to run for 19 months. Today’s run was a slow process, no judgement on my time, but I ran consistently for over a mile! Seven months ago, walking required a cane and I had little stability (let alone stamina). *FLIP*
I also went outside in public with no makeup on (hence the fabulous selfie you see). Why is that such a big deal, you might ask? Well, to frame it for you, I had on a full face of makeup and jewelry for both my kids’ deliveries! I simply do not leave the front door without at least some makeup! Because I knew the likelihood of running into someone (pun totally intended) was slim to none, I felt EMPOWERED to do this “unthinkable” act. *FLIP*
I sat down at the dinning room table with my kids, spread out a project they’ve been wanting to do for ages, and enjoyed simply being together without a time constraint. We listened to music, reminisced, and laughed, without a single ounce of guilt! It was priceless. *FLIP*
So in my REA/L moment with you, my friend, let’s flip the switch! Instead of giving fear control over us and allowing the current mania to overwhelm us, let’s spread some positivity! Let’s try something new and encourage others to do the same. Let’s share a little insight to our real selves!
It’s free. It can be done right from your home. And it’s ripple effect might just help reset our nation, even the world, in how we respond and come together in times of uncertainty…all with a simple flip of the switch!
Let's Get REAL Together 