Tag: Loved

Revelation

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Revelation

There’s a beautiful blue sky and sun shining outside my window. I was briefly able to bask in its warmth earlier this morning. What a gift! It’s funny how much truth is in the adage “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” (Your welcome for that throwback Cinderella earwig.)

It’s days like today that I should marvel in my numerous blessings, yet here I am…ashamed of how I squander them. How I can go from gratefulness one moment to disparagement in what seems like the blink of an eye lends sight into my fickle heart. In the middle of my wrestle, I was able to encapsulate how I felt with this picture.

Our sweet pup, sitting on dead grass, next to a needs to be replaced fence, drenched in His glorious warmth as she lifts her head heavenward in a silent thank you. This is where I wish to reside. Unaffected by the absence of posh surroundings, yet unabashedly lavishing in His generosity.

“May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans. We will sing joyously over your victory, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners. May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.”

Psalm 20:4-5AMP

Thank you, Lord, for this revelation and victory over my circumstances. I praise your precious and holy name. Amen

Amazing Grace

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Amazing Grace

My husband is a smart man. I know this to be true. Even so, there are times he astounds me with his wisdom.

During a recent conversation, I was lamenting over a situation, which encompassed this familiar theme: I’m too this or not enough that. In the midst of my mental battle over the days which delivered me to that point, I chose the most logical course of action: nothing, absolutely nothing to help myself. Worst, in doing so, I felt like a toadstool—poisonous and sucking the life out of all those around me.

Utterly frustrated and disgusted with myself, I turn to my husband with a sigh and said, “There’s a gray area between grace and complacency.” Without a blink, he replied, “Nope, there’s enough grace to cover it all.” Boom. Mic drop.

Everything is more complicated it should be, or at least that’s what we believe, so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s in those hard spots where we want to give up, do nothing, stew in our pity party pot that grace covers us, like a well fitted lid. We need it to contain the mess our minds cook up. I needed to hear it, right then…there is enough grace to cover it all.

The only thing lackadaisical about my inaction in this given situation was my inability to receive His grace. Believe I am enough. As is. No activity required.

It is only in learning the repeated art of leaning in, which comes most frequently from hardship experiences, that we are able to appreciate the feel of grace’s soft embrace. When we stop focusing on the grit of life’s sandpaper, we can allow His grace to transform us through the chafing process. We can’t always see His grace in the moment because we are too distracted by the abrasiveness of the experience. All we hear is the devil whispering, oh you sure do need a lot of refining.

*Sigh* Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way. Nope, there’s enough grace to cover that too.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, hear me when I say this: everything truly is not as completely complicated, convoluted, or spiraling out of control as we may feel or believe. There is a constant blessing called grace, His amazing grace, that is just waiting to rush in and swaddle you. It saved a wretch like me and continues to do so over and over again. It even brought me here, through my storm to tell you, my friend, YOU are loved.

Beloved not Behind

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Beloved not Behind

There’s a fantastic button on the Bible App when you’ve fallen behind, rather missed a few days, on your reading plan. It does this magical thing…Instead of displaying your tardiness, this button will simply reassign the dates and corresponding readings. This makes it appear that you’ve consistently done the work, on time, and are currently on track. If only there were a “Catch Me Up” button for life.

Sometimes we get hung up, stuck if you will, thinking we are behind, and it paralyzes us. We can’t move forward because we are already behind the power curve before we even start. It’s self imposed. Ridiculous. And very real, at least to most of us.

Point in case: a friend gave me a lovely, undated planner. I had grand plans for how I would use it. I was excited about it. And on January 11th, when I held it in my hands to begin, I froze.

Should I attempt to go back to January 1st and scour my memory for what I “needed” to put in for the “missing” days?

Would it be weird to start my undated calendar on January 11th?

Could I even keep up with a planner seeing as how I didn’t start it at the beginning of the year?

I sat there, holding this book, feeling deflated before writing a single thing inside. Certainly this not at all how I planned to start my year (pun intended)! Where was the “Catch Me Up” button that I so desperately needed?

Even as I type this, I realize how insane it sounds. Is there a law that says all personal use calendars must unequivocally start January 1 or be forfeited until the following year? Where in the life’s rule book is it written that all must subscribe to “traditional” start/end dates? Who gets to decide these things?

I do. Me. No one else.

Life does not have a magical “Catch Me Up” button. It has a “Start” and “End” button, which you do not get control over. We have jurisdiction over how we move (up/down, left/right, forward/backward). We do not govern the time component. We are stewards of it. However, we act as though we are hopelessly trapped, living life caught up in a self defeating world of shoulda, woulda, coulda. Wrapped up in time constraints that don’t actually exist.

So on January 11th, I became a rule breaker. I began my 2021 calendar on a date other than January 1st. I decided I wouldn’t let some arbitrary rule dictate how or when I should start something good for myself. I would no longer allow someone else’s “reality stick” to beat me up. I am in charge of my own life’s actions, and I would not waste any more time feeling like I was behind the power curve. That self imposed lie would no longer strangle me.

Today is January 13th. It’s a Wednesday, traditionally thought of as hump day. The middle of the week. No one begins anything in the middle, right? WRONG! You can. Today can be your start point.

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days” (Ephesians 5:15-16 NLT).

This is living by the Spirit’s power. This is how we act like the good stewards God intended us to be. This is our measure.

Start this very moment, my friend. No matter the day or time. Be wise. You are not behind, only beloved.

Enough

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Enough

This morning, I “happened to” call a friend out of the blue. Truthfully, I cannot even recall what the prompting was. We chatted, as if no time had passed since we’d last talked, and it just plain felt good. Normal. As we were hanging up, I made reflexive apologies for my accent and thanked my friend listening through my broken speech. She responded with, “yes I know you have an accent, but I just hear you.” Instant tears In that moment, I felt all the ridiculous insecurities about the voice that comes out of my mouth, which currently does not sound at all like “me,” melt away. Just like that.

To my friends who have had enough…

Feel they aren’t enough…

Think they aren’t (blank) enough…

I see you. And more importantly, El Roi does.

My prayer for you today is you see past the imperfection, deficit, or affliction that is weighing upon you. Blur it out through the lens of God’s filter. Apply as easily and readily as any go to media filter. Roll past it like the waves lap upon the shore—focused, purposeful, and swiftly. Change your position, literally. Pluck yourself from the rubble you feel has accumulated around, suffocating you. And hear me say these words to you:

YOU MATTER

You are enough. As is. Right now. This moment. Breathe that glorious truth in, then exhale the rest.

How can I say this truth with outright assertion? Because God tells us “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). So whatever you may think, feel, or see as weakness is actually just the opposite. It is in these spaces where God is strongest and declares you enough through His power. And that my friends, should be enough.

Alone

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Alone

I have a friend group that’s absolutely precious. I love them individually, and together, we are a force to be reckoned with for sure. We pray for each other, listen through the vents, and laugh…a lot. These ladies are such a blessing to me, and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I called any one of them in an emergency, they would be there in the drop of a hat.

Why is it, then, that I still withhold certain things? If I know I am unequivocally loved and accepted completely, why do I feel it necessary to wrestle with worry when I can share with those who care? What makes some things okay to reveal and others too dicey, too close to home? How can I be held dearly and yet feel so alone?

Can you relate?

By now, if you’ve been following Let’s Get REAL Together for any length of time, you may have noticed my brain thinks in acronyms. Here’s one that slapped me in my face when I was in bed, experiencing another episode, and feeling very much ALONE.

All

Lifelines

Oftentimes

Neglected

Erroneously

In my head, I recognize I am NOT alone. But in my heart? It feels cavernous… empty… isolated. Alone.

Maybe it’s me, giving the devil a foothold in my mind.

Maybe it’s my pride, withholding when I feel weak.

Maybe it is what makes me so dependent on God.

He created Eve for Adam because it is not good to be alone (see Genesis 2:18). He gave us His Holy Spirit (see 1 John 4:13) to draw upon when we feel weak and/or afraid (see Joshua 1:9). He died for our sins (see John 3:16) so we have the opportunity to cast all our anxieties at His feet (see 1 Peter 5:7).

The list and scripture references are endless, as is His love for us. And this, my friends, is why we are neglectful and erroneous in our thinking we are ever alone. Yes, the feeling may feel very real. Yes, the feeling should absolutely be acknowledged. HOWEVER, we have to be mindful in what we hold as truth. Feeling alone is just that, a feeling. Period. Nothing more.

It is when we attempt to validate this feeling with false facts or omitting truths that we become negligent. I am guilty of it. More times than I’d like to admit. And if left unchecked, it can literally destroy you on a cellular level. The mind body connection is undeniably, scientifically proven. Which is why we must emphatically follow this scripture:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

So the next time you feel alone, or scared, or overwhelmed, or insert whatever is counter to the fruit of His spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23), remember you ALWAYS have a lifeline to call upon. God is ALWAYS available, ALWAYS patient, and ALWAYS loves you. And yes, I am talking to myself in the mirror, while praying, my friend, you allow this to permeate you as well.

Sweet Release

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Sweet Release

Today I am sad…

Sad because of all the hate.

Sad because of all the debate.

Sad because of the polarization.

Sad because of all the incessant sanitization.

Sad because I created an account joining the Zoom nation.

Sad because my kids can’t just be kids, hanging out with friends without unnecessary reservation.

Sad because as I type this on the laptop, my eyes keep moving back to my phone propped up nearby with live video feed of a practice I’m not able to attend, fearing I might miss something that I can’t possibly or even remotely control.

*SAD*

All this sadness has given me a headache, quite literally. My limbs feel heavy, as if moving through mud. There is so much stress and tension in my body that I have a sick feeling in the back of my throat. I am desperately fighting this overwhelming sadness because I know full well that it’s not healthy. And yet, like the mysterious invisible hair that makes our skin crawl with a tickling irritation, I cannot seem to put my fingers on it and simply remove this feeling.

Then this “memory” pops up on my personal social media page.

“God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to Him.”

1 Peter 5:7

Not some of your worries. Not just the the big or little ones. Not the ones you think He can handle. *ALL OF YOUR WORRIES*

Funny God. You have the ability to show up anywhere! Even in a Facebook memory. It’s times like these where the phrase “God works in mysterious ways” becomes very present and applicable. You’d think that I’d already learned this a hundred times over: God is in control. I am not. Worrying about all that I cannot control does not gain me anything.

I confess, today was the first time in a while that I opened my Bible app upon waking (a habit I used to have). After making my way through today’s Bible story about witnessing, I moved onto my neglected devotional plan (Reset Your Mind, Overhauling Toxic Thoughts) and clicked “catch me up.” The title? “Capture Your Thoughts,” followed by a quote.

“Taking thoughts captive means controlling them instead of letting them control you.”

Priscilla Shirer

I feel somewhat empowered and a slightly relieved that I do have control over something: my thoughts. Somewhere, in my desperation to control the chaos that has engulfed our world, I handed what I could control over to fear, sadness, and helplessness. Silly me…

With my focus now redirected solely on writing this (as the Zoom feed has ended), I take a deep breath. Intentional. Cleansing. Recentering. What do I truly want filling my thoughts?

If it is heavy, I let it go. If it is hurtful, I let it go. If it isn’t of Him, I let it go. I cannot be His witness if I am wrapped in worry and warped thoughts. These do not point others towards Him. Period.

I am DONE feeding the worry worm. I am replacing this fruitless activity by cultivating healthier habits. Start my day with HIM. Align my thoughts with HIM. Cast my worries unto HIM.

*Sigh* Ahhh, sweet release…and just like that, I am in a better place.

L-O-V-E-D

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L-O-V-E-D

Another In The Fire

Take Heart

YOUR NAME IS POWER

God Is Love

Graves into Gardens

JOY INVINCIBLE

Keep Me in the Moment

No One Ever Cared for Me like Jesus

Above was the “random” playlist during my worship time this morning while I ran 2.23 miles. There are many emotions as I type this, but I will start with my initial purpose: to run for a cause. Nowadays, there is so much focus on race, injustice, fear, conspiracy, and the overwhelming desire to be HEARD! There seems to be only two camps: right and wrong. The desire to practically SCREAM our opinions at each other must be further fueled by the restrictions that have been imposed upon us during this pandemic. That’s the only thing I can come up with…because the insatiable need to WIN, to be RIGHT, to be HEARD has apparently completely overridden our “directive” for kindness or decency.

So, I embarked on my run with purpose. I was running for a cause. I was running for freedom. I was running for someone who’s life was needlessly taken and no longer had the opportunity to walk (let alone run) on this Earth. I was engulfed in gratitude with each stride, reflecting on where I was one year ago and what a blessing it was running on my own two feet. Coupled with the fact that I haven’t run in awhile, truthfully, I was not sure my legs or lungs would make it through running the entire 2.23 miles, but I went about it with purpose, and my God sustained me!

As I ran, I tried to imagine what it would be like to survive in a state where I constantly looked over my shoulder. Where the color of my skin caused others to treat me differently. Where fear (in myself and others) created such visceral hatred. I simply couldn’t…couldn’t imagine it. And as the worship songs continued to play in my ears, I had a revelation.

Our society is so ridiculously focused on the concept of WINNING and being RIGHT that we have become oblivious to the “WIN” noose that has been slipped over our necks in the process. “WIN,” in this instance, stands for Wrestling In Negativity. We’ve been blinded with such self-centeredness and self justification that we cannot possibly process anything that isn’t on our “side.” Therefore, our “win” our “rightness” becomes absolutely vital because if it doesn’t look like us, doesn’t act like us, doesn’t believe like us…then it simply must not be good for us! Anything “different” is seen as a negative and a threat.

For whatever reason I think in acronyms and correlations…that’s simply how my brain works. The “WIN” acronym made my mind move onto this next car train. In my head, I counted out these letters in the following words: B-L-A-C-K, five. W-H-I-T-E, five. Five on one hand and five on the other. While neither word shares any of the same consonants or vowels, they are both equal in the number of letters. Why can’t we, as a society, accept that we are ALL different–and it has NOTHING to do with the color of our skin?

“I found out everybody’s different – the same kind of different as me. We’re all just regular folks walkin down the road God done set in front of us. The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between, this earth ain’t no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless – just workin our way toward home”

― Denver Moore, Same Kind of Different as Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together

Everybody is different. The same kind of different as me. Imagine the wonderful possibilities this simple shift in thinking would create and how it would revolutionize our world? I am different. YOU are different. WE are different, but we are the SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT.

I round the corner, exhausted. My heart yearns for people to stop the ravenous need to win. My legs are tired. Sweat rolls into my eyes and tears threaten to break free. I don’t think I can keep running…then I see a man at the end of the street. He’s smiling and waving. Once I pause my music, I hear “Great job! I saw you running ’round the corner. Keep it up! You’ve got this…”

I’ve never seen this man before in my life. He doesn’t know me. And certainly, there’s no way he knew I was on the verge of giving up.

“Thank you,” I manage to say, as I rounded the next corner on the way towards home. I am revitalized. I am intent on completing. I look down at my tracker, only .5 miles left…what shocked me even more than this stranger’s impeccable timing for a pick-me-up was the lyrics to the next song.

“I’ve been thinking ’bout time and where does it go

How can I stop my life from passing me by, I don’t know

I’ve been thinking ’bout family and how it’s going so fast

Will I wake up one morning just wishing that I could go back?

I’ve been thinking ’bout lately, maybe

I can make a change and let you change me

So, with all of my heart this is my prayer

Singing oh Lord, keep me in the moment

Help me live with my eyes wide open

‘Cause I don’t wanna miss what you have for me”

-Jeremy Camp, “Keep Me in the Moment”

The Hoover Dam couldn’t have held back the tears (sweat or no sweat). My God, thank you! Thank you for keeping me in the moment. Thank you for never giving up on me, even when I want to give up. Help me, Lord, to live with my eyes wide open. Abba, you are such a good father, and I don’t wanna miss ANYTHING you have for me. I will push through. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

I pass my house because the tracker says I have not quite reached my goal of 2.23 miles, my initial purpose. The last song on my trek? Steffany Gretzinger’s “No One Ever Cared for Me like Jesus.” KID. YOU. NOT.

This morning’s run was an experience like none other. I had set out with one purpose: I was running for a cause. God had another purpose.

I cannot fathom what Ahmaud Arbery’s family is going through, especially today, but I pray they feel loved. Loved by countless people running across the globe today, whom they will probably never see, in memory of their son. Loved by God in such a palpable way that transcends any pain. Loved by a man, they never met, who also died…so they could one day be reunited with their son in a perfect world.

Thank you, Lord, for revealing yourself to me today. I am in awe of your greatness! Yahweh, please place your hand on our world. We are a broken people. Help us move into your fold, so we might stop seeing ourselves as different at all…only loved. In your son’s most holy and precious name I pray, Amen.