Let's Get REAL Together

reality

November 3, 2021November 3, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Let’s start with the title, “reality.” It’s intentionally all lowercase, which looks odd, out of place. The off center picture reveals a lackluster sink drain. And the mess? That all came out when I finger combed through my hair, prompting me to write this.

What we think should be our reality and what is reality does not consistently coexist. Unexpected events will alter plans, which is frustrating. Things aren’t always perfectly polished and wrapped up with a pretty bow, counter to the end of every Hallmark movie. When stuff isn’t in its correct place or done “just so,” it’s disconcerting and sticks out like a sore thumb.

However, this picture, I’d venture to guess, might just sum up most of our holistic lives. The “un”pin-worthy deleted pic. The unfashionable phenomenon called real life. The junk we don’t talk about or share, because honestly, it’s vexing. Who really needs another bitter spoonful of reality?

WE DO! Life isn’t all gumdrops and roses.

We need to see others’ unsuccessful attempts. It may keep us from making the same mistake, or better, help us realize it’s truly normal not always getting it right.

We need to hear about the “unspoken” harsh truths of aging, depression, conflict…things most of us will likely experience but don’t want to acknowledge.

We need to feel included in our painful loneliness.

I would dare to say it’s our obligation to keep it REA/L if for no other reason than this simple fact: it’s reality. An equalizing common denominator called truth that breaks the barrier between “us” and “them.”

“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are His delight.”
Proverbs 12:22 ESV

Falsehood is fantasy. Faithful is adhering or true to fact. Real life reality.

So today, instead of muting our mess, let’s confess it in a safe space. It’s ok not having it all together. But together, we can make sense of the pieces, even the ones that don’t seem to fit into our plans. And that, my friends, makes reality a bit more palatable.

Wealth Worth

September 30, 2021September 30, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Sometimes I wake up thinking, what am I doing with my life? I’m X years old, what do I have to show for it? As if I didn’t already have my own purpose anxieties, I’ve even heard “your children have long past primary schooling, when are going back to work?” That one still stings.

Even as I write this, I feel compelled to tell you that I ran a successful business for twelve years, then proceed to walk you through the rest of my resume in attempts to validate my worth. Sad really. But as I exhale this venomous thought process, I am reminded of this verse:

“Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents],even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 AMP

The Bible doesn’t have a cutoff timeframe for this. Why should I allow any devaluation of my work? The Bible also does not delineate one type of work as better than another. The only “job matrix” of any value is laid out here:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Matthew 22:36-40

Need a simplified pretty pin worthy version?

Find one right thing and do it. Then repeat. Serve with an altruistic purpose. Then search for the next opportunity to do so. A job title doesn’t define your purpose. Worth isn’t confined to the walls of an office, held hostage by digits in an account, or sourced within social media clicks. Please, let’s stop perpetually feeding that lie.

Whether you are changing the world or changing a diaper. Changing your community’s landscape or changing the laundry. Changing lives inside a classroom or changing the emotional climate within the framework of your own home. Serve with the pure purpose of God’s Greatest Commandment. THAT, my friend, is why we’re here and holds tremendous value. Plain and simple.

I may not always get it right. But as long as I find one right thing and do it, I can rest with assurance that I’m on the right path. Truly worthy wealth worth.

Amazing Grace

September 28, 2021September 28, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

My husband is a smart man. I know this to be true. Even so, there are times he astounds me with his wisdom.

During a recent conversation, I was lamenting over a situation, which encompassed this familiar theme: I’m too this or not enough that. In the midst of my mental battle over the days which delivered me to that point, I chose the most logical course of action: nothing, absolutely nothing to help myself. Worst, in doing so, I felt like a toadstool—poisonous and sucking the life out of all those around me.

Utterly frustrated and disgusted with myself, I turn to my husband with a sigh and said, “There’s a gray area between grace and complacency.” Without a blink, he replied, “Nope, there’s enough grace to cover it all.” Boom. Mic drop.

Everything is more complicated it should be, or at least that’s what we believe, so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s in those hard spots where we want to give up, do nothing, stew in our pity party pot that grace covers us, like a well fitted lid. We need it to contain the mess our minds cook up. I needed to hear it, right then…there is enough grace to cover it all.

The only thing lackadaisical about my inaction in this given situation was my inability to receive His grace. Believe I am enough. As is. No activity required.

It is only in learning the repeated art of leaning in, which comes most frequently from hardship experiences, that we are able to appreciate the feel of grace’s soft embrace. When we stop focusing on the grit of life’s sandpaper, we can allow His grace to transform us through the chafing process. We can’t always see His grace in the moment because we are too distracted by the abrasiveness of the experience. All we hear is the devil whispering, oh you sure do need a lot of refining.

*Sigh* Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way. Nope, there’s enough grace to cover that too.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, hear me when I say this: everything truly is not as completely complicated, convoluted, or spiraling out of control as we may feel or believe. There is a constant blessing called grace, His amazing grace, that is just waiting to rush in and swaddle you. It saved a wretch like me and continues to do so over and over again. It even brought me here, through my storm to tell you, my friend, YOU are loved.

BRAVE

September 24, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

As a fun “Mom” thing, I check the Nation Day Calendar for fun things to surprise the family—brought home some delish cream filled donuts, gone out for ice cream, made sure we ate burgers, etc. While there seems to be a reoccurring food theme, there are a barrage of other things on calendar to celebrate. For example, today is National BRAVE DAY. I absolutely love this!

Merriam-Webster defines brave as “having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : having or showing courage” Think there are various parts of our lives that we all wish we were a bit more brave. Or maybe, you don’t see yourself as brave at all? Today is an excellent opportunity to evaluate our thoughts on being brave. Let’s dive into this together!

Do you wake up each morning and get out of bed? Do you share? Do you seek to better yourself? Do you have a loved one? Do you ask for help? If you answered yes to ANY of these, you indeed are brave my friend!

Waking up and being present to face the day’s challenges. Giving a part of yourself. Learning to be better. These all require courage, whether you believe it or not. Give yourself some credit here (also courageous 😉).

Bravery grows silently and exponentially. Seeing someone doing something we’d like to do, which spurs us to also try, is the seed of courage. Simply thinking “maybe I can” or “I’d like to give that a shot” is a brave bud bursting through its shell.

Ever said, “Hey, I’m going to X, wanna join me?” BRAVE.

Tackling anything new? BRAVE.

Trying again? BRAVE.

Trust me, you are BRAVE!

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
Winnie the Pooh

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.”
2 Timothy 1:7 CSB

“Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.”
Emma Donoghue

So in my REA/L moment with you today, on this National BRAVE day, I want you to hear one thing. I see you being brave, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. 😘

FIGHT

September 23, 2021September 24, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

In a recent conversation with someone whom I dearly love, she asked how my recovery was going. Here’s the exchange that followed:

I’m ok. Just need to remember how to be a patient again. You’d think with all the times I’ve been in the “patient” situation it would be easier.

Nah, I get it. Every time you fight your way back to feeling good again, it’s even harder to sit still and work back up to fully functional again. It makes sense. ❤️ But you come back better each time. 😉

This. I so needed to hear this today. Maybe you need it as well. You come back better. Again, and again. I’m not sure if she intentionally used that word twice in one sentence, but it stood out to me.

We all go through stuff, have trauma, and it’s ok to feel an obesity of emotions. Then afterwards, we gotta stand up again (and again). Choose to fight—not in a violent, rather overcomer way. FIGHT!

Find

Incredible

Goodness

tHrough

Trauma

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
Jane (Nightbirdie) Marczewski

It’s the in spite of, not the trauma, that should steal our focus. The wildflower growing out of the sidewalk. The rainbow in the storm. The unavoidable laughter through tears. THAT kind of joy, an impregnable goodness, is infectious in the best possible way.

The world needs more of this. See, share, spread this. FIGHT, my friends.

Unstuck

September 8, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Do you find yourself saying tomorrow, soon, or someday in relation to realizing a positive change in your life? I do. Quite frequently, if I’m honest. I think about it, whether it be fleetingly or obsessively. Sometimes I’ll go so far as making elaborate plans or rigid schedules in search of change but no amount of talk or thought provides measurable forward momentum.

This leaves me feeling stuck, which sucks. Think we’ve all been there. But what do I usually do next? I pick apart all the why’s this always happens and round we go. A vicious cycle. Stuck.

Today, I had a revelation. The best part of being stuck is this: getting unstuck. Seriously. While completely obvious, it’s the undeniable solution to my problem. It’s actually my unvocalized yet ultimate goal— removal from an undesirable place and onto a better one. All it requires is one small change to get the ball rolling.

But here’s the thing: we have to actually remove ourselves from the undesirable place. Again, obvious; however, it’s far easier to stay planted somewhere familiar than uproot ourselves. While we may despise our current position, at least we know what to expect.

Isaiah 43:18 tells us “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago.” Ie we don’t have to take up residence where we don’t want to be. God can transition us, if only we’d stop looking down the road of our past. By simply shifting our eyes, we are able to “Watch for the new thing [God is] going to do. It is happening already—you can see it now! [He] will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there” (Isaiah 43:19 GNT). That’s incredibly good news friends! Truths we need to repeat to ourselves daily and share with others. All we need is one small change: where our eyes are focused.

“So let us throw off everything that stands in our way. Let us throw off any sin that holds on to us so tightly. And let us keep on running the race marked out for us. Let us keep looking to Jesus” (Hebrews 12:1b-2a NIRV).

God does not want to see us stuck! It pains Him when we are tethered to anything that separates us from Him. We were created to be in relationship with Him. Keep our eyes on Him. Run toward Him. That’s how we win!

“He is the one who started this journey of faith. [God sent His Son] And He is the one who completes the journey of faith [Jesus’ death and resurrection]” (Hebrews 12:2b-c NIRV). “So think about Him. Then you won’t get tired. You won’t lose hope” (3b NIRV).

So in my REA/L moment with you today, let’s pray this together: Lord, I’ve allowed myself to be stuck far too long. Thank you for revealing these strongholds today. I submit to you my stubborn ways and seek to shed them. Through the power of your Holy Spirit, grant me strength to lay these at your feet so I may be untethered. Turn my eyes toward you, Lord. I desire to run along side you. My hope is in you and you alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Trust

September 3, 2021September 3, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogether3 Comments

I’m sitting here getting a pedicure, when a mother and daughter come in. It’s not what you would call your usual duo, as both are well seasoned. The daughter helps guide her mother into the chair. It’s obvious the mother is a bit confused about what’s happening, but her daughter patiently repeats the assurance “it’s ok.”

Once settled, the daughter tells her mother she’s going around the corner briefly to pick a color and would be right back. Immediate concern, bordering on fear, flashes across the mother’s face. She didn’t want to be left alone. She desperately needed to feel her presence, evident by the borderline tears. “You’re ok, I’ll be right back.”

Panicked, the mother looks around as if to attempt getting up. Without hesitation, the lady in the chair directly next to the mother leans over, holds out her hand, and spoke reassuring affirmations. The daughter was relieved and quickly returned with polish. It was beautiful to witness.

This reminded me of my relationship with God. I’m often unsteady on my spiritual feet. I’m easily confused when there’s unwanted change. I long for His nearness, tender words, and physical presence. I know in my heart He constantly provides all of these, but my fears clout my mind.

How can my faith be so fickle? Why am I so easy swayed when circumstances change? What does this say about my relationship with God?

None of this makes me a “bad Christian.” I am human. I must constantly turn to Him, which is by His design. It’s in these moments, when I crawl back to Him despite my indiscretions, that Abba gathers me up like the prodigal child.

“O my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.”
Psalm 62:8 NLT

Thank you, Lord for loving me through my trials. Thank you for listening when I cry out. Thank you for being my shelter in the storm. And most of all, thank you for always welcoming me back into your fold. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Community

August 31, 2021August 31, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

What does community look like for you?Does it need to be in the perfect location? Lots of mature trees and green space? Maybe in city center? Near the important things? Work, school, Target? Should it have a pool, dog park, or other amenities?

These are the things I see on HGTV’s numerous homebuyers wish list. As someone who’s recently looked at houses, I can honestly say, most of these would also be high up on the community list for me. These are all the “creature comforts,” locationally speaking. Community, as in a place, is only one of five basic types. The other four (interest, action, practice, and circumstance), I’d argue, are far more valuable because they are relational.

Common interests. A call to action for making some kind of impact. Practicing similar work, recreational, or kid activities. Bonding through everyday or crisis situations. These are also what I’d call “community.” And these—these are huge motivators for staying in communities.

Just after “Love the Lord your God” as Jesus’ first Commandment is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

We often think of “neighbor” in terms of proximity, or again, location; however, I do not believe this is what Jesus was talking about. Not. At. All. I think we need to go back a few pages in Matthew to chapter 7: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (verse 12 EVS).

The Golden Rule. We are all familiar with it. Probably memorized it before we left first grade. Somehow though, I think a majority of us throw this rule out the window when it doesn’t “suit” us. Myself included (ouch that hurt to say).

Community (neighbors) are either brought together or torn apart by how this Golden Rule is applied. *Read that again*

Now, I realize this is a generalized statement, but it seems like part of society has traded kindness for convenience—fed by the “me first” mentality. It’s just easier to focus on my needs, my priorities, my ideology. This is taking loving thyself (the second part of the second commandment) totally out of context, and to the detriment of others.

Kindness DOES matter. How you treat another person, both in person or behind the scenes, matters. Proverbs 17:22 (NLT) says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”

We are a broken people, living in a broken place. But hear me out, there is good news! If we abide by the Golden Rule, apply the second Commandment, and work to BUILD community…my friends, what a blessed respite that would be! A beautiful Heaven on Earth experience, in a real, tangible way.

Today, let’s pray these pearls of wisdom the Bible lays out (starting with ourselves) over our family, friends, community, and those we may not currently see eye to eye with in accordance with our Lord’s Commandments. Amen.

Blanket

May 10, 2021May 10, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

It’s late…or is it early? Can’t tell. Still dark, so it could be either. Heart racing, body drenched in a slick sweat, I throw the covers aside and fumble my way into the bathroom. Trying to erase whatever prompted that trapped feeling, I splash cool water all over my face, attempting to wash away any of the unpleasant remnants, and watch them disappear down the drain.

If only everything were that easy. Remove the obstacle. Find different ground. Cleanse away impurities. Release the remnants. But how does that work when what blankets you isn’t tangible? When you cannot grab hold of the hindrance for the first removal step? Where do you begin when wrestling with an invisible opponent?

Catastrophically covered in doubt is simply suffocating and no way to live. It’s the equivalent of undertaking an ocean swim with cement blocks tied to your ankles. Now to the observer, it’s obvious this is an impossible task. The straightforward remedy would be removing the blocks, which anyone could plainly see–except for the swimmer who’s completely unaware of his cement bound feet.

Ridiculous, you might think. Who in their right mind wouldn’t notice the absurd addition? The swimmer, of course, who’d already been straining against the current, bashed by the waves, and blinded by the salty spray. At that point, one more ball thrown at the already struggling juggler doesn’t matter. Everything had already begun crashing down.

Doubt is the devil’s blanket. Although we cannot see it, we feel the weight crushing us. Doubt can snuff out even the most vibrant dream. When allowed to get a foothold, doubt multiplies and mutates faster than cancer. DOUBT is the devil obliterating uniquely beautiful truths.

We know the devil is evil, plain and simple. 1 Thessalonians 5 :22 tells us to “reject every kind of evil.” However, when the deceiver slips quietly into our thoughts, we often miss the opportunity to refute him before he wields his destruction.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:21

Good is God’s Word. Good is God’s Truths. “Very good” is what He calls His beloved, whom He made wonderfully and uniquely in His image.

Maybe you don’t see doubt as evil. That’s too far of a stretch. Ok, let me ask you this: how often has doubt kept you from doing the right thing? Standing up for truth when it wasn’t popular? Pursuing a passion in the midst of naysayers? Stepping into uncharted waters? Believing His Word over the world’s “wisdom?” Doubt is just one tool in the devil’s arsonal. And if the devil’s use of doubt causes you to stumble away from what God purposefully created you to fulfill, then that, my friend, is evil.

Doubt and peace cannot coexist in the same place. I long for peace. I’m weary from wrestling with the devil’s doubt. Evil has no place within me if I am wholly His. Lord, forgive me for permitting pockets of doubt to invade me. Protect me from its poison and purge this evil for good. Wash me white as snow, purifying my head and heart so I may fully receive the peace you offer. Cover me completely, tucking in all the sides, enabling me to rest comfortably in your trustworthy promises. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Riding the Waves

March 1, 2021March 2, 2021by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

I remember rolling down the beach, picking up speed as I went barreling towards the ocean. Hard packed sand finding its way into every crevice. Eyes squeezed tightly shut so the salt wouldn’t sting quite so badly. Breath held, seemingly forever, in anticipation of the wave.

Sometimes the waves gently rolled over me. Other times the waves violently crashed into me. But once, the waves greedily grabbed hold, pulling me helplessly out towards the ocean depths.

The feeling of this childhood experience, albeit decades ago, returned over the past few weeks. The splash, in the form of tears, suddenly running down my face. The palpable, crushing collision of finality pummeling my body. Waves of grief swiftly taking over, engulfing me, then quietly receding, leaving only fragmented traces: red eyes, the occasional sniffle, and slacken body accompanying my despondency.

There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Most don’t even realize there are multiple types of grief, outside of losing a loved one. We each process the heartache of loss differently. The one common constant is it comes in waves, taking on multiple forms. It’s a very real and deeply personal experience.

When that greedy wave threatened to steal me away, oh so many years ago, it was my dad who plucked me from its grips. Hands strong and sure. Arms readily embracing me. I felt safe, excited to get out there again, not realizing what could have transpired, had he not been there.

My father loved the water, as do I. He taught me the importance of looking up to make sure I saw the sun and out to the shore so I could keep my bearings, no matter what the waves brought. I find myself clinging to that wisdom today.

There are times when I think we all need a safety net. A constant, protecting us from the waves of life. Sometimes we may be carefree riding on top, while other times, we might find ourselves buried underneath.

Though it’s cloudy today, I lift my head to the Son, seeing His ever presence in my life. I look out and see my family, my anchor held firmly upon the shore. And I hold tightly to Abba, my Heavenly Father’s hand as I ride the waves today.

These verses have helped me on many occasion, and if you happen to be riding your own waves, I pray they will bring you comfort, my friend. This section starts with “Rejoice in the Lord always.” I must confess to you I’m not there yet. I am thankful my dad is at peace. I am grateful for the pure joy Christ provides through his gift of grace. I am overwhelmed by the assurance that I will see my dad again. But if I’m honest, my heart hurts a little too much to rejoice today. And that’s ok…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Philippians 4:6-9 NIV

My prayer for us is that we truly feel God’s peace in a very real way today. While we may be on different ones, I believe we both are simply doing our best riding the waves. Help me, Lord, keep my eyes fixed upon you so joy will come in the morning.