Author: 4letsgetrealtogether

Stepping outside of my comfort zone and sharing bits of my story, while interweaving scripture along the way. In being REAL with you, I pray it is reassuring to know that you are not alone, my friend. I get it, stuff happens...to all of us! I do not pretend to know all the answers, instead, I rely on His Word to guide me. My "qualification" for doing this consists of three letters: COG (Child of God). Through His grace and mercy, I will guide you towards peaceful authenticity by being REAL: Releasing Each Anxiety/Lie.

BRAVE

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BRAVE

As a fun “Mom” thing, I check the Nation Day Calendar for fun things to surprise the family—brought home some delish cream filled donuts, gone out for ice cream, made sure we ate burgers, etc. While there seems to be a reoccurring food theme, there are a barrage of other things on calendar to celebrate. For example, today is National BRAVE DAY. I absolutely love this!

Merriam-Webster defines brave as “having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : having or showing courage” Think there are various parts of our lives that we all wish we were a bit more brave. Or maybe, you don’t see yourself as brave at all? Today is an excellent opportunity to evaluate our thoughts on being brave. Let’s dive into this together!

Do you wake up each morning and get out of bed? Do you share? Do you seek to better yourself? Do you have a loved one? Do you ask for help? If you answered yes to ANY of these, you indeed are brave my friend!

Waking up and being present to face the day’s challenges. Giving a part of yourself. Learning to be better. These all require courage, whether you believe it or not. Give yourself some credit here (also courageous 😉).

Bravery grows silently and exponentially. Seeing someone doing something we’d like to do, which spurs us to also try, is the seed of courage. Simply thinking “maybe I can” or “I’d like to give that a shot” is a brave bud bursting through its shell.

Ever said, “Hey, I’m going to X, wanna join me?” BRAVE.

Tackling anything new? BRAVE.

Trying again? BRAVE.

Trust me, you are BRAVE!

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Winnie the Pooh

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.”

2 Timothy 1:7 CSB

“Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.”

Emma Donoghue

So in my REA/L moment with you today, on this National BRAVE day, I want you to hear one thing. I see you being brave, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. 😘

FIGHT

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FIGHT

In a recent conversation with someone whom I dearly love, she asked how my recovery was going. Here’s the exchange that followed:

I’m ok. Just need to remember how to be a patient again. You’d think with all the times I’ve been in the “patient” situation it would be easier.

Nah, I get it. Every time you fight your way back to feeling good again, it’s even harder to sit still and work back up to fully functional again. It makes sense. ❤️ But you come back better each time. 😉

This. I so needed to hear this today. Maybe you need it as well. You come back better. Again, and again. I’m not sure if she intentionally used that word twice in one sentence, but it stood out to me.

We all go through stuff, have trauma, and it’s ok to feel an obesity of emotions. Then afterwards, we gotta stand up again (and again). Choose to fight—not in a violent, rather overcomer way. FIGHT!

Find

Incredible

Goodness

tHrough

Trauma

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

Jane (Nightbirdie) Marczewski

It’s the in spite of, not the trauma, that should steal our focus. The wildflower growing out of the sidewalk. The rainbow in the storm. The unavoidable laughter through tears. THAT kind of joy, an impregnable goodness, is infectious in the best possible way.

The world needs more of this. See, share, spread this. FIGHT, my friends.

Unstuck

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Unstuck

Do you find yourself saying tomorrow, soon, or someday in relation to realizing a positive change in your life? I do. Quite frequently, if I’m honest. I think about it, whether it be fleetingly or obsessively. Sometimes I’ll go so far as making elaborate plans or rigid schedules in search of change but no amount of talk or thought provides measurable forward momentum.

This leaves me feeling stuck, which sucks. Think we’ve all been there. But what do I usually do next? I pick apart all the why’s this always happens and round we go. A vicious cycle. Stuck.

Today, I had a revelation. The best part of being stuck is this: getting unstuck. Seriously. While completely obvious, it’s the undeniable solution to my problem. It’s actually my unvocalized yet ultimate goal— removal from an undesirable place and onto a better one. All it requires is one small change to get the ball rolling.

But here’s the thing: we have to actually remove ourselves from the undesirable place. Again, obvious; however, it’s far easier to stay planted somewhere familiar than uproot ourselves. While we may despise our current position, at least we know what to expect.

Isaiah 43:18 tells us “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago.” Ie we don’t have to take up residence where we don’t want to be. God can transition us, if only we’d stop looking down the road of our past. By simply shifting our eyes, we are able to “Watch for the new thing [God is] going to do. It is happening already—you can see it now! [He] will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there” (Isaiah 43:19 GNT). That’s incredibly good news friends! Truths we need to repeat to ourselves daily and share with others. All we need is one small change: where our eyes are focused.

“So let us throw off everything that stands in our way. Let us throw off any sin that holds on to us so tightly. And let us keep on running the race marked out for us. Let us keep looking to Jesus” (Hebrews 12:1b-2a NIRV).

God does not want to see us stuck! It pains Him when we are tethered to anything that separates us from Him. We were created to be in relationship with Him. Keep our eyes on Him. Run toward Him. That’s how we win!

“He is the one who started this journey of faith. [God sent His Son] And He is the one who completes the journey of faith [Jesus’ death and resurrection]” (Hebrews 12:2b-c NIRV). “So think about Him. Then you won’t get tired. You won’t lose hope” (3b NIRV).

So in my REA/L moment with you today, let’s pray this together: Lord, I’ve allowed myself to be stuck far too long. Thank you for revealing these strongholds today. I submit to you my stubborn ways and seek to shed them. Through the power of your Holy Spirit, grant me strength to lay these at your feet so I may be untethered. Turn my eyes toward you, Lord. I desire to run along side you. My hope is in you and you alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Trust

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Trust

I’m sitting here getting a pedicure, when a mother and daughter come in. It’s not what you would call your usual duo, as both are well seasoned. The daughter helps guide her mother into the chair. It’s obvious the mother is a bit confused about what’s happening, but her daughter patiently repeats the assurance “it’s ok.”

Once settled, the daughter tells her mother she’s going around the corner briefly to pick a color and would be right back. Immediate concern, bordering on fear, flashes across the mother’s face. She didn’t want to be left alone. She desperately needed to feel her presence, evident by the borderline tears. “You’re ok, I’ll be right back.”

Panicked, the mother looks around as if to attempt getting up. Without hesitation, the lady in the chair directly next to the mother leans over, holds out her hand, and spoke reassuring affirmations. The daughter was relieved and quickly returned with polish. It was beautiful to witness.

This reminded me of my relationship with God. I’m often unsteady on my spiritual feet. I’m easily confused when there’s unwanted change. I long for His nearness, tender words, and physical presence. I know in my heart He constantly provides all of these, but my fears clout my mind.

How can my faith be so fickle? Why am I so easy swayed when circumstances change? What does this say about my relationship with God?

None of this makes me a “bad Christian.” I am human. I must constantly turn to Him, which is by His design. It’s in these moments, when I crawl back to Him despite my indiscretions, that Abba gathers me up like the prodigal child.

“O my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.”

Psalm 62:8 NLT

Thank you, Lord for loving me through my trials. Thank you for listening when I cry out. Thank you for being my shelter in the storm. And most of all, thank you for always welcoming me back into your fold. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Community

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Community

What does community look like for you?Does it need to be in the perfect location? Lots of mature trees and green space? Maybe in city center? Near the important things? Work, school, Target? Should it have a pool, dog park, or other amenities?

These are the things I see on HGTV’s numerous homebuyers wish list. As someone who’s recently looked at houses, I can honestly say, most of these would also be high up on the community list for me. These are all the “creature comforts,” locationally speaking. Community, as in a place, is only one of five basic types. The other four (interest, action, practice, and circumstance), I’d argue, are far more valuable because they are relational.

Common interests. A call to action for making some kind of impact. Practicing similar work, recreational, or kid activities. Bonding through everyday or crisis situations. These are also what I’d call “community.” And these—these are huge motivators for staying in communities.

Just after “Love the Lord your God” as Jesus’ first Commandment is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

We often think of “neighbor” in terms of proximity, or again, location; however, I do not believe this is what Jesus was talking about. Not. At. All. I think we need to go back a few pages in Matthew to chapter 7: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (verse 12 EVS).

The Golden Rule. We are all familiar with it. Probably memorized it before we left first grade. Somehow though, I think a majority of us throw this rule out the window when it doesn’t “suit” us. Myself included (ouch that hurt to say).

Community (neighbors) are either brought together or torn apart by how this Golden Rule is applied. *Read that again*

Now, I realize this is a generalized statement, but it seems like part of society has traded kindness for convenience—fed by the “me first” mentality. It’s just easier to focus on my needs, my priorities, my ideology. This is taking loving thyself (the second part of the second commandment) totally out of context, and to the detriment of others.

Kindness DOES matter. How you treat another person, both in person or behind the scenes, matters. Proverbs 17:22 (NLT) says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”

We are a broken people, living in a broken place. But hear me out, there is good news! If we abide by the Golden Rule, apply the second Commandment, and work to BUILD community…my friends, what a blessed respite that would be! A beautiful Heaven on Earth experience, in a real, tangible way.

Today, let’s pray these pearls of wisdom the Bible lays out (starting with ourselves) over our family, friends, community, and those we may not currently see eye to eye with in accordance with our Lord’s Commandments. Amen.

Blanket

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Blanket

It’s late…or is it early? Can’t tell. Still dark, so it could be either. Heart racing, body drenched in a slick sweat, I throw the covers aside and fumble my way into the bathroom. Trying to erase whatever prompted that trapped feeling, I splash cool water all over my face, attempting to wash away any of the unpleasant remnants, and watch them disappear down the drain.

If only everything were that easy. Remove the obstacle. Find different ground. Cleanse away impurities. Release the remnants. But how does that work when what blankets you isn’t tangible? When you cannot grab hold of the hindrance for the first removal step? Where do you begin when wrestling with an invisible opponent?

Catastrophically covered in doubt is simply suffocating and no way to live. It’s the equivalent of undertaking an ocean swim with cement blocks tied to your ankles. Now to the observer, it’s obvious this is an impossible task. The straightforward remedy would be removing the blocks, which anyone could plainly see–except for the swimmer who’s completely unaware of his cement bound feet.

Ridiculous, you might think. Who in their right mind wouldn’t notice the absurd addition? The swimmer, of course, who’d already been straining against the current, bashed by the waves, and blinded by the salty spray. At that point, one more ball thrown at the already struggling juggler doesn’t matter. Everything had already begun crashing down.

Doubt is the devil’s blanket. Although we cannot see it, we feel the weight crushing us. Doubt can snuff out even the most vibrant dream. When allowed to get a foothold, doubt multiplies and mutates faster than cancer. DOUBT is the devil obliterating uniquely beautiful truths.

We know the devil is evil, plain and simple. 1 Thessalonians 5 :22 tells us to “reject every kind of evil.” However, when the deceiver slips quietly into our thoughts, we often miss the opportunity to refute him before he wields his destruction.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Romans 12:21

Good is God’s Word. Good is God’s Truths. “Very good” is what He calls His beloved, whom He made wonderfully and uniquely in His image.

Maybe you don’t see doubt as evil. That’s too far of a stretch. Ok, let me ask you this: how often has doubt kept you from doing the right thing? Standing up for truth when it wasn’t popular? Pursuing a passion in the midst of naysayers? Stepping into uncharted waters? Believing His Word over the world’s “wisdom?” Doubt is just one tool in the devil’s arsonal. And if the devil’s use of doubt causes you to stumble away from what God purposefully created you to fulfill, then that, my friend, is evil.

Doubt and peace cannot coexist in the same place. I long for peace. I’m weary from wrestling with the devil’s doubt. Evil has no place within me if I am wholly His. Lord, forgive me for permitting pockets of doubt to invade me. Protect me from its poison and purge this evil for good. Wash me white as snow, purifying my head and heart so I may fully receive the peace you offer. Cover me completely, tucking in all the sides, enabling me to rest comfortably in your trustworthy promises. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Riding the Waves

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Riding the Waves

I remember rolling down the beach, picking up speed as I went barreling towards the ocean. Hard packed sand finding its way into every crevice. Eyes squeezed tightly shut so the salt wouldn’t sting quite so badly. Breath held, seemingly forever, in anticipation of the wave.

Sometimes the waves gently rolled over me. Other times the waves violently crashed into me. But once, the waves greedily grabbed hold, pulling me helplessly out towards the ocean depths.

The feeling of this childhood experience, albeit decades ago, returned over the past few weeks. The splash, in the form of tears, suddenly running down my face. The palpable, crushing collision of finality pummeling my body. Waves of grief swiftly taking over, engulfing me, then quietly receding, leaving only fragmented traces: red eyes, the occasional sniffle, and slacken body accompanying my despondency.

There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Most don’t even realize there are multiple types of grief, outside of losing a loved one. We each process the heartache of loss differently. The one common constant is it comes in waves, taking on multiple forms. It’s a very real and deeply personal experience.

When that greedy wave threatened to steal me away, oh so many years ago, it was my dad who plucked me from its grips. Hands strong and sure. Arms readily embracing me. I felt safe, excited to get out there again, not realizing what could have transpired, had he not been there.

My father loved the water, as do I. He taught me the importance of looking up to make sure I saw the sun and out to the shore so I could keep my bearings, no matter what the waves brought. I find myself clinging to that wisdom today.

There are times when I think we all need a safety net. A constant, protecting us from the waves of life. Sometimes we may be carefree riding on top, while other times, we might find ourselves buried underneath.

Though it’s cloudy today, I lift my head to the Son, seeing His ever presence in my life. I look out and see my family, my anchor held firmly upon the shore. And I hold tightly to Abba, my Heavenly Father’s hand as I ride the waves today.

These verses have helped me on many occasion, and if you happen to be riding your own waves, I pray they will bring you comfort, my friend. This section starts with “Rejoice in the Lord always.” I must confess to you I’m not there yet. I am thankful my dad is at peace. I am grateful for the pure joy Christ provides through his gift of grace. I am overwhelmed by the assurance that I will see my dad again. But if I’m honest, my heart hurts a little too much to rejoice today. And that’s ok…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Philippians 4:6-9 NIV

My prayer for us is that we truly feel God’s peace in a very real way today. While we may be on different ones, I believe we both are simply doing our best riding the waves. Help me, Lord, keep my eyes fixed upon you so joy will come in the morning.

Unspoken

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Unspoken

One of the primary reasons I started writing Let’s Get REAL Together was to share scriptural truths. To encourage. To stomp ugly lies that fly about with Biblical truths. But also to share my own battles and anxieties in the hope that you might identify on some level. Then together, we could find comfort in His Word, which brings me to today…

Cancer is a horrible evil. It eats its host as well as the entire family. It feels like a death sentence upon diagnosis, especially when it’s given the added insult of “Stage 4.”

I think it’s safe to say that we have all either known someone who has battled cancer or fought it themselves. You might see chemo posts, or best case scenario, a smile victoriously ringing the bell. But here is what you don’t see…the unspoken.

The vomiting.

The loss of bowels.

The grey skin over shriveling body.

The loss of recognition for loved ones.

The combative, inconsolable confusion accompanying overwhelming pain.

This is the unspoken. This is the omitted part, reserved solely for parents, spouses, or loved ones brave enough to endure the burden of primary care giver. This is the bitter pill that must be choked down before (prayerfully) a glorious homecoming.

No pamphlet or book can prepare you for this. This is a horror show that no one wants to see. And yet, this is the unspoken reality for many…

It’s easy for an outsider to ask “why.” Offer “have you tried” advice. Question decisions. I fall into this category because I don’t understand this disease, which makes me feel helpless. All I see is the shell of a man I once knew. Feel fierce longing for one last bear hug. Desperate for one more impromptu dance. Hear his velvet baritone voice sing my name.

To those who have traveled a similar path, my heart aches for you.

To you reading this today, the next time you see or hear someone asking for prayer, do it. Right then and there. You don’t need the intimate details. Receive the unspoken request. Intercede on their behalf. Lay their burden at His feet. Then ask if you can hug them. They might need to feel His love in a tangible way. Be His hands and feet.

To my warrior friends, please echo my unspoken prayer.

“Also, we can really trust God to help us when we turn to Him. We know that He will hear us. When we ask for anything that He wants us to have, He listens to us.”

1 John 5:14 EASY

Beloved not Behind

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Beloved not Behind

There’s a fantastic button on the Bible App when you’ve fallen behind, rather missed a few days, on your reading plan. It does this magical thing…Instead of displaying your tardiness, this button will simply reassign the dates and corresponding readings. This makes it appear that you’ve consistently done the work, on time, and are currently on track. If only there were a “Catch Me Up” button for life.

Sometimes we get hung up, stuck if you will, thinking we are behind, and it paralyzes us. We can’t move forward because we are already behind the power curve before we even start. It’s self imposed. Ridiculous. And very real, at least to most of us.

Point in case: a friend gave me a lovely, undated planner. I had grand plans for how I would use it. I was excited about it. And on January 11th, when I held it in my hands to begin, I froze.

Should I attempt to go back to January 1st and scour my memory for what I “needed” to put in for the “missing” days?

Would it be weird to start my undated calendar on January 11th?

Could I even keep up with a planner seeing as how I didn’t start it at the beginning of the year?

I sat there, holding this book, feeling deflated before writing a single thing inside. Certainly this not at all how I planned to start my year (pun intended)! Where was the “Catch Me Up” button that I so desperately needed?

Even as I type this, I realize how insane it sounds. Is there a law that says all personal use calendars must unequivocally start January 1 or be forfeited until the following year? Where in the life’s rule book is it written that all must subscribe to “traditional” start/end dates? Who gets to decide these things?

I do. Me. No one else.

Life does not have a magical “Catch Me Up” button. It has a “Start” and “End” button, which you do not get control over. We have jurisdiction over how we move (up/down, left/right, forward/backward). We do not govern the time component. We are stewards of it. However, we act as though we are hopelessly trapped, living life caught up in a self defeating world of shoulda, woulda, coulda. Wrapped up in time constraints that don’t actually exist.

So on January 11th, I became a rule breaker. I began my 2021 calendar on a date other than January 1st. I decided I wouldn’t let some arbitrary rule dictate how or when I should start something good for myself. I would no longer allow someone else’s “reality stick” to beat me up. I am in charge of my own life’s actions, and I would not waste any more time feeling like I was behind the power curve. That self imposed lie would no longer strangle me.

Today is January 13th. It’s a Wednesday, traditionally thought of as hump day. The middle of the week. No one begins anything in the middle, right? WRONG! You can. Today can be your start point.

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days” (Ephesians 5:15-16 NLT).

This is living by the Spirit’s power. This is how we act like the good stewards God intended us to be. This is our measure.

Start this very moment, my friend. No matter the day or time. Be wise. You are not behind, only beloved.