Author: 4letsgetrealtogether

Stepping outside of my comfort zone and sharing bits of my story, while interweaving scripture along the way. In being REAL with you, I pray it is reassuring to know that you are not alone, my friend. I get it, stuff happens...to all of us! I do not pretend to know all the answers, instead, I rely on His Word to guide me. My "qualification" for doing this consists of three letters: COG (Child of God). Through His grace and mercy, I will guide you towards peaceful authenticity by being REAL: Releasing Each Anxiety/Lie.

Peace Be With You

November 21, 2024by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Tis the season when family and friends gather. Food and drinks are shared. And the barrage of questions begin…How are you? What’s new? What’s next? What about…? The list goes on. The intent is meant well, a genuine interest in you. Meanwhile, the answers aren’t always easy and the questions can be uncomfortable.

When you’ve been through something traumatic, you might not want to relive it. Or maybe you’ve improved but aren’t out of the woods yet.

You’re clueless of “what’s next” and the thought scares you to death.

You don’t really have anything “new” going on, but you won’t want to seem ho hum (or worse boring).

The most common response to “how are you” is typically “fine,” which could be short for frustrated, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. Let’s face it—we’ve all faked a smile and said “fine” because it’s easier. Preparing for the holidays can sometimes feel overwhelming. Maybe nothing necessarily “bad” has happened, it can just all be exhausting…defensively causing your guard to go up.

Am I in a bad place? No. This is simply me thinking ahead and telling myself to read the room. Listen—attentively, giving the person in front of me my ears AND eyes. Sometimes we miss things when there’s background noise vying for our attention. I fondly remember talking with someone who made me feel incredibly special. Even though she was hosting the event, I felt like our conversation was in a beautiful snow globe. Magical—protected from everything else happening around us. Could I tell you what we talked about? No. But I can absolutely fondly remember that peaceful feeling.

So my friends, here’s my prayer for us as we enter “the most wonderful time of the year” (thank you Andy Williams). It comes straight from the Apostle Paul, who reminds us of God’s free and boundless grace. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:13 ESV). Kids believe in Santa. Let’s remain steadfast in believing we can not only find but bring peace wherever this season takes us.

It is Good

November 13, 2024November 13, 2024by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Have you ever had an idea hit you so hard that you couldn’t ignore it? Itch that instantaneously grabs hold and grows, giving life to your skin, causing it to rise in goosebumps. Thought that ignites like a flash point and spreads like wildfire, to the point it simply cannot be ignored. *Insert raised hand * That was me this morning. Internally shouting loud enough that I skipped the Brooks and Dunn segment I’d been waiting for (don’t judge), I got up, grabbed my laptop, and now you are up to speed…

“On Wednesdays we wear pink” played in my head. Many of you, mean or not, might recognize this line from the now 20-year-old movie. Because I’m a sucker for alliterations, this quickly morphed into “on Wednesdays we write,” right alongside make the bed Monday (change bedding), towel Tuesday (wash towels), vacuum Thursday (ok not an alliteration but only other weekday that has a “U” because I don’t wanna do it over the weekend), finish it Friday (finalize any tasks/projects that may have taken over the house)…get the point? A mind trick that helps keep me on a schedule, while accomplishing something that needs to be done, and I use the word “needs” intentionally.

Society loves the saying and excitement generated when something is deemed an “overnight success;” however, all the behind-the-scenes work eventually comes out at some point. A man behind the curtain moment, if you will. From Genesis, we learn about creation. “In the beginning God created…” God got to work day one, and on that very first day, after speaking light into existence, “God saw that the light was good” (v 3). Three verses. There was nothing. God created (essentially turned “nothing” into “something”), looked at it, and recognized its value. Here’s the itch that sprang me to life.

How can I arrogantly expect something when I’ve done nothing? The very first five words in the Bible clearly show God worked. Let that sink in for a sec. Upon viewing His work, He knew it was good…because there was something to see. You can have the greatest of ideas, but without putting work into its inception, there is nothing. The world will never see or rejoice in your creativity. Work needs to be done, or it will remain forever formless in the recesses of your mind.

On Wednesdays we write. Today I am putting in the work. I see it in plain black and white, but oh the pops of colors are beginning to swirl! It is good. Thank you, Lord.

A Little Less Strange

August 14, 2024by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

I can feel them—hot, wet, unwanted. Having no idea where they came from—(lack of sleep? hellacious calamity of errors over the last 36 hours?)—I chalk them up to yet another thing I cannot control. “The seatbelt sign is on, please return to your seat with your seatbelt securely fastened.” We’ve hit a bumpy patch, less than ten minutes since the all clear, smooth skies ahead declaration. In my row 24 middle seat, I sit in my customized version of Alanis Morriset’s “Ironic.”

I’m on my way home from a two plus week whirlwind tour of Italy and the Mediterranean coast, watching “Under the Tuscan Sun” on an airline I’ll not soon use again, and I can’t comprehend why I’m crying. Thankfully, not the ugly kind. Just the moderately concerned, sideways glances of “The Princess Diaries” window seat girl next to me kind. *sigh* Life is strange.

Here’s the part where I’d usually stop, because I’ve temporarily scratched enough of the writing itch to feel satisfied. At least that’s what I tell myself. It’s easier that way—leaving out the tender bits underneath. I think we all feel that way.

Smile for the camera. Post the color corrected pic. Put on a good show. No one wants to see raw pink skin that’s barely holding it together once the scab has been removed. It might bleed again at any moment, which is messy and unpleasant.

Why are we so desperate to seem put together when most of us are secretely falling apart? It’s definitely a learned trait. The crying toddler in row 23 is a prime example. He’s not happy, something is definitely off, and he is unabashedly letting everyone in the plane know it. The mother frantically tries to playcate him. “I know, I wanna cry too,” she says as he wails. People stare. This is “unacceptable” behavior and everyone knows it. Again I ask, why? Why is it socially frowned upon to show your unfiltered emotions?

Since I’m without internet, I cannot Google an appropriate Bible verse to refute this unnatural practice. Yes that is a transparent admission that I do not have every chapter/verse memorized. What I can do is recall the countless times I read the word “wailed.” Or multiple references to tearing one’s clothes off in despair. I believe these displays of emotion are captured in the Bible because they are real. Natural. And therefore not shameful.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, I’d like to humbly remind you that we are all a little raw beneath the surface, AND THAT’S OK. If we collectively try to treat each other with tenderness, our wounds might heal a little faster. If we tend to those brave enough to show their authentic self with compassion, there might be more sincerity. If we are willing the bear each other’s burdens, instead of burying them, life might feel a little less strange. Or at least less isolating. That’s my two cents anyway.

My seat back is up and tray table is stowed for landing. As we descend, I’m thankful for the “unpleasantries” of this flight. Ok that’s not entirely true. I’m thankful for His divine revelation and gift of these words. May they prove helpful in your journey today my friend.

Heavenly Strides

June 3, 2024June 3, 2024by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

What do you call a writer who doesn’t write? Me. What do you call a Christian who isn’t disciplined in reading His word? Also me. Spending quiet time reading the Bible, feeling His grace and mercy when I do, empowers me to share…His goodness, His truths, His gentle hand in my life. It’s truly a simple formula.

A (Reading the Bible)

+ B (Reflecting on Him)

= C (Writing inspiration)

I KNOW THIS! And yet, I’m mystified when I go through a “dry spell.” I’ll think about writing. I’ll wonder what’s stopping me from writing. I’ll shame myself for not writing. But for whatever reason, I’ll waste more time on the above fruitless efforts, scroll, or play games on my phone and find myself still stuck in the same slump. Here’s one more stinger: I “proudly” have a 100 day streak on a language app because apparently that’s of higher priority in my feeble brain! How utterly ridiculous is that?!

Why am I confessing this to you? Exposing my vanity might give you enough pause to reflect on yours. If that’s offensive, stop reading here. Forgive me friends. You will totally miss the point of what I’m trying to share.

It’s infinitely easier to “busy” ourselves right out of meaningful work, or toil as the Bible references it. Both are four letter words, and we can logicize our way out of it’s profane presence. Labor is hard and often viewed as punishment. But laboring in vain? That’s ultimately more painful friends!

“Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”
1 Corinthians 15:58 NRSV

Today, before starting this, I spent time in His word via the Bible app. Easy. Accessible. And in seven minutes, I navigated through the scripture of the day, guided reflection, and spent time with Him in prayer. Seven minutes y’all! That’s significantly less time than ANY of the aforementioned fruitless tasks! And what did it yield? Easing back into the familiar formula: A + B = C

I feel better about myself. I accomplished something meaningful. I found myself back on my purpose path. And as an added bonus, I started a NEW streak: 1 Daily Refresh. Day one is a great place to be friends! It’s a step in the right direction, away from my worrisome past.

The biggest irony of the day? I have the best image of our loving God chuckling as I share this. Here’s one of the verses from today’s guided prayer portion of the Bible app…

“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?”
Matthew 6:17 NRSV

So in my REA/L moment today with you sweet friends, instead of wasting time worrying, let’s commit to working our way back to Him. Be steadfast in the things that matter. Prioritize our streaks towards Heavenly strides.

Yes, My Love

August 8, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

I haven’t shared anything REA/L in awhile…life has been a bit too unbelievably chaotic. Have there been blessings mixed in? Absolutely! Those joys have been the bulk of my posts this year. These are the things I want to have pop up in my memories. The unpleasantries, however, I’d prefer to erase…

Within our family of four, we’ve had six surgeries among us this year with one more on the horizon. The specialists, appointments, treatments, therapies, etc have dictated the bulk of our schedules. Out of necessity, we’ve collectively danced with more fluidity than ever before…typically it’s just one of us (mainly me) that assumes the patient role. This time it’s entirely different and not in a good way.

My surgeries were incredibly personal and deemed medically necessary for prevention. Cancer ravaged my father, and with my bizarre “ecosystem,” avoiding that horrific parasite bestowed the best option. I discovered in the minimal sharing of the “why” I had a double mastectomy was met with confusion. “So you didn’t have cancer?” No, I’d reply almost apologetically, I did not. While I am fortunate this is the case, my chapter of recuperation is still unfinished.

Two weeks after my surgeries, our youngest needed knee surgery from an injury. She is still working her way back to even—making fantastic progress might I add. Rehab is never easy, and she is diligently putting in the time required to return to the activities she loves. It’s laborious. There have been tears of frustration and pain. The “other side” drives her so this too will be in the rear view mirror.

About a month later, the “c” word entered our household. It was utterly out of the blue. There were no symptoms. He didn’t fit the risk profile. And yet…

“I’m so sorry,” he says when we get the results. Tells the kids the same thing. They both immediately respond with the obvious: “This is not your fault!” He unfortunately doesn’t readily accept this. In his mind, he is the caregiver. He is glue. It’s his “responsibility” to ensure everyone has what they need. His provider gene runs strong. This is unwelcomed and unfamiliar territory, for all of us. Less than two weeks after diagnosis, treatment begins, and here we remain, praying all this will totally eradicate his cancer.

Last month, our oldest had oral surgery to remove four impacted wisdom teeth. I think people trivialize this type of surgery, relegating it as “routine,” which is regrettable. There’s something wholly unnerving about being knocked out while having people inside your mouth, looking at the unrecognizable person in the mirror, and struggling to eat, drink or talk.

Welp, there it is—the life data dump of our last six months. It’s a lot. And yes, we are all intimately aware our family has already been through “a lot.” We cling tightly to each other, especially when one of us tries to retreat, because that’s how we are wired. Eventually someone will figure out “the fix,” even if the solution is simply space. This too shall pass is our mantra, which is only moderately easier to swallow when spoken within our four walls. The absolute truth that guides us daily is this: the Lord will see us through, as He has so graciously done countless times before. “There’s a blessing buried in it,” he says as we leave the infusion center today. Yes, my love, there always is.

WTH

April 4, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

The music is intentionally louder than normal—something I can control, meant to drown out my thoughts. While I’m usually pretty good at wrangling them, today they are running wild. Lack of sleep further spurs their disobedience.

I am fully aware my behavior does not align with scripture and goes against 2 Corinthians 10:6 where we are called to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” However today…today I am thick with emotion. While 1 Peter 5:7 bids me to “cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you,” I cannot. I desperately want to. It would be better for me if I would. My heart just doesn’t seem to remember these scriptures I’ve inscribed because it’s broken, and I feel numb. My lips profess “I’m fine,” but a more accurate statement is “I will be fine.”

Today, however, everything about me reads “NO!” Eyes down to avoid contact, AirPods indicate preoccupation, softly spoken minimal words imply conversation not welcome. I even told a friend “no thank you” when she called, could tell something was obviously off, and asked if I wanted to talk (which, for the record, I texted shortly afterwards and apologized if I seemed rude). Saying “NO” is something I can do, something I can control, especially when it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under me. I’m Alice, falling down the rabbit hole, clueless of how far it goes or what happens next.

Some might wonder, WTH?! Is she gonna spit it out or what? Again I say, no…or at least not yet. It’s too personal. Too close. And frankly, I’m too raw. In the midst of all these “too’s,” my heart cannot take another “this too shall pass.” I’m afraid one more might make me snap and say something awful that I don’t really mean.

So why in the world am I even writing this if I’m not going to share what’s going on? Because I don’t need to in order to ask for your prayers. My heart can only bear clinging to this singular scripture in its brokenness…

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.”
Romans 8:26-27 NLT

Thank you for listening. Hopefully, when you see me, you’ll understand my no thank you. Better yet, prayerfully I’ll no longer take up residence there.

Days Like This

March 31, 2023March 31, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

Our neighbor sends me a text saying she’s in our driveway but hasn’t heard from our kiddo that’s she’s come to pick up. (No wonder the dog is barking like crazy!) I’d just finished packing her lunch before taking her into school. Embarrassed, I go out the front door, apologizing since I’d obviously miscommunicated when I needed help.

Shortly afterwards, we hop in the vehicle and my phone rings. A familiar voice asks if I’m ok since I wasn’t there for my 8am appointment. Embarrassed, I repeatedly apologize as I quickly open my calendar and see the appointment right there in red for this morning. Missing appointments is just not something I do. When I hang up, hot tears flow as I shake my head. Damn. That makes two.

We get to school unscathed, and I move on to my next task: getting vehicle inspected. Of course the first place I go isn’t able to do it. I call the next place, nope guy isn’t there today (but he’ll be back Monday 🙄). Third place, yes we can help you…but it’ll be a bit of a wait (over an hour) because there are several cars already there. I’m in a time crunch, so this doesn’t work. As I hang up, I pass another potential place. I manage to swing into the parking lot of a connecting center, and thankfully I’m quickly able to complete my mission. Small victory—I’ll take it.

While getting the inspection, I get a text asking to confirm a different appoint for tomorrow. What?! I didn’t have that on my calendar…have I completely lost it?

I could go on, but I think you get the drift. I felt like I was smack in the middle of the book “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” and it was only 9:30am. My brain just wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and my eyes felt like a film was creeping over them, somewhat blurring my vision. Anyone else been there?

It’s days like this that make you want to crawl into bed and pull the covers overhead. Don’t want a “do over” because you’re not sure you’d do any better. sigh Days like this…not gonna lie, they suck.

Here’s where you might expect me to insert some sort of wisdom or scripture claiming inspiration in spite of the day’s disarray. I’m not. Why? Because on days like this, that might not prove especially fruitful. On days like this, you might just want to sit a bit in your feelings…and not only is that totally normal, it’s ok! You go ahead and feel the feels (I am). But do me a favor? Please don’t set up camp!

So this afternoon, I’m sending you air hugs and reminding you that you are not alone. Lemme know if you need a listening ear, without judgement, or a tissue while you cry. I am here, my vision is clearing, and I am almost done sitting in my “days like this” feelings. 🤗❤️🙌

Breathe

March 29, 2023March 29, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogether2 Comments

“Give me a couple days to come up for air.” “I’m just now able to catch my breath.” “When things slow down and I can breathe again…”

Any of these sound familiar? We run around, stretching ourselves so thin, we forget to do the very thing that gives us life: breathe. Denying ourselves the space and opportunity to breathe reeks havoc on our bodies, raises our stress levels, and renders us virtually incapable of handling “the small stuff.”

The funniest part? We don’t even realize we’re not breathing! “Breathe…” I repeatedly used to hear during PT. I would focus so diligently on whatever task was immediately at hand, that apparently, I quite literally forget to breathe. And as I unknowingly held my breath, things increasingly became more and more difficult. You feel me? Am I alone on this one?

When God created Adam, He breathed life into him. When Jesus returned and revealed Himself to His disciples, He breathed on them in order to receive the Holy Spirit. Breath and breathing, you see, are vitally important in life—enough that the Bible specifically references it more than once.

When you breathe, you allow room to receive. You create a space that’s conducive to work within. You enable oxygen to flow through your body, which improves healing, performance, and a plethora of other beneficial items. So why on Earth do we cripple ourselves trying to do more, when it causes us to forget the basics?

Hilariously (or not so), I wrote this four years ago. I am profoundly aware of the divine timing in which my own words resurfaced in FB memories. Isn’t it incredible how God works both through and ahead of us? I appreciate His timing even when I can’t fathom the “why” of the moment. Here’s where I take a deep breath, sigh, and audibly exhale.

Friends, let’s learn to breathe again.
Let’s stop drowning ourselves in the “more” this world idolizes, preoccupying ourselves with the devil’s “what if’s,” and withholding the very thing that gives us life. Let’s become better in the basics…it may just be the breath of life that revives us, giving us the opportunity to breathe life into others alongside our own journey.
Breathe, my friends. Just breathe.

Our Dearest Friend

March 24, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogetherLeave a Comment

I have a daily 9am notification on my Bible app reminding me to be in His Word and pray. Today, the devotional centered around a very familiar verse, Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend,” which brought to light an aspect I’d not thought of before: the Holy Spirit as our dearest friend.

Admittedly, I am a private person, but I am thankful for those who break through, allowing me to feel comfortable in my vulnerability. The ever present Holy Spirit is most intimately privy to all my inner inequities, of which I have many. While I may not think of myself as a masterpiece, He does. In His omnipotence, He sees His completed creation and calls me “very good,” right from the beginning. This is also God’s vision of you, dear friend.

I’ve heard “you and your family have been through so much” more times than I can count…and that’s true. It’s hard for others to understand how I can say “it’s just another ‘is.’” The best way I can describe the easiness of this statement centers around the process. Any diagnoses or struggle is simply the springboard used to dive into the process of healing, and it’s in that place where we are molded, sharpened, purified.

So in my REA/L moment with you today, I encourage you to give yourself permission to be REA/L (Release Each Anxiety/Lie). We are created for communion—with Him and each other. Let’s stop thinking we are a “bother” when we share our burdens, because that’s not at all how God views it. There are times in everyone’s lives when help is needed, even if it’s just a listening ear, during the process of refining us, His masterpiece—especially knowing it sometimes isn’t particularly pleasant. We can, however, more readily accept His grooming practice if we remember who He is…our dearest friend.

Revelation

February 9, 2023by 4letsgetrealtogether1 Comment

There’s a beautiful blue sky and sun shining outside my window. I was briefly able to bask in its warmth earlier this morning. What a gift! It’s funny how much truth is in the adage “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” (Your welcome for that throwback Cinderella earwig.)

It’s days like today that I should marvel in my numerous blessings, yet here I am…ashamed of how I squander them. How I can go from gratefulness one moment to disparagement in what seems like the blink of an eye lends sight into my fickle heart. In the middle of my wrestle, I was able to encapsulate how I felt with this picture.

Our sweet pup, sitting on dead grass, next to a needs to be replaced fence, drenched in His glorious warmth as she lifts her head heavenward in a silent thank you. This is where I wish to reside. Unaffected by the absence of posh surroundings, yet unabashedly lavishing in His generosity.

“May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans. We will sing joyously over your victory, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners. May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.”
Psalm 20:4-5AMP

Thank you, Lord, for this revelation and victory over my circumstances. I praise your precious and holy name. Amen