Because we arrive late (again), I scan the general area where we used to sit. “Used to” is important since our invisible “reserved” marker is no longer observed. Our sporadic attendance of late, due to a variety of reasons, brings momentary panic as we proceed forward.
What if there aren’t any available seats near the aisle? Would we be able to settle in somewhere with minimal disruption? How am I to navigate through without making a complete spectacle of myself on crutches? Thankfully, we find a “suitable” location and join in the service during one of the last worship songs before the sermon begins.
I look up at my husband, who jumps right in singing the words on the screen. He seems content and focused on worship. My lips join in, however, my mind requires a bit of acclimation. Taking in my surroundings, I begin noticing all the things.
The person behind us is coughing, which is equivalent to the plague these days. Are they directly behind me? Do they seem “sick” or just have a tickle? Movement catches my eye, and I see someone I recognize, though he’s not sitting where he usually does. I wonder why? Was his “assigned seat” taken? Then the lighting bounces off the lead guitar with a flash, and I’m redirected toward the front by the beautiful melody offered in praise.
Pleadingly, I will my mind to focus on the purpose of our attendance: worship. Forgive me, Lord. I am a waif, easily distracted. My noticings should be of your glory and goodness, yet I find myself easily flustered by all that vies for my attention. Misled by meaningless noise.
Whom shall I follow? Let it be YOU Lord. Draw all of me to you. Remove all that fruitlessly clamors. Fashion an unbreakable strand upon my heart that only you control.
“Do not forget the agreement I made with you. And do not worship other gods. Instead worship the Lord your God. He will save you from all your enemies.”
2 Kings 17:38-39 ICB
I sat ashamed with the realization I had allowed the world governance over me. I deeply valued my ability to “notice things,” prided myself as an observer, placed undo importance on this; meanwhile, all this internal commotion caused confused misdirection away from things that truly matter. I’d relinquished power over my mind to the enemy, who rapidly fired flares beaconing for more attention, luring me further away from the most sovereign God.
I repent, and plead for forgiveness, knowing all the while it is already mine.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 NIV
Friends, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a daily battle weeding out the false gods in my life. Things that I give pointless priority. And like most weeds, plucking does nothing when the roots remain intact—simply a temporary reprieve. Only complete removal, digging deep to eradicate all traces, will allow something more delightful to take up residence.
“We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back. Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect.”
Hebrews 12:1c-2a NCV
*sigh*
Maybe one day I’ll be strong enough to stop this battle once and for all, giving Him total dominion over me. There I go again, thinking this is about me—my strength, my ability. I can only offer this moment, fortified with the power of His Spirit, and rest with certainty that He will bridge the gap to the next on my journey closer to Him.
Let’s get REA/L together.
Let's Get REAL Together 