Promises

“No, I don’t know where I’m goin’

But I sure know where I’ve been

Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday…”

“Here I Go Again,” by Whitesnake

I crack up when these lyrics come to mind as I open the door to our sauna. The sauna I said I wanted. The sauna that has helped me in the past. The sauna I am now reluctantly using because I don’t want to need to use it.

After a chuckle over the bizarre mind soundtrack that played upon entering, I become especially aware of the cedar smell. It fills my nostrils as the hot air fills my lungs. This is good for me, I keep telling myself, but the five year old in me cries “but I don’t wanna…” It’s like the broccoli (or death trees my kiddos called them) on the plate that is repeatedly ignored in attempts to move into non-existence. Why a sauna, which is candidly an in-home luxury, can evoke such a visceral response, is beyond me. But there it is. Me, being real with you.

A recent post, detailing an acronym for ALONE, might have been misconstrued as loneliness. Like the all too prevalent #AloneTogether slogan ventures to soothe those actually quarantining. I am not lonely, rather feel alone in the middle of this. Another episode in “an unusual” condition that baffles most. It’s simply not an experience that can be easily explained or adequately conveyed.

A mystery to most, a reality for me.

“In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, your given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

Tom Bodett, author

Wow. You’d think after all I’ve been though, I’d have learned my “lesson” by now. Maybe you feel the same way. In your own life. In your own trials. “God, what are you trying to teach me? Why does this have to be so hard?”

“Sin has made us stupid, so that we can only learn the hard way.”

Peter Kreeft, Christian philosopher

Sin is what makes us suffer. Not God. Our God offers hope in the face of suffering. Often, it is only in adversity that we cry out to Him. We worry and then pray, thinking this is worship. Seems backward and selfish. But Jesus tells us,

“Don’t worry about what you will suffer. The devil will throw some of you into jail, and you will be tested and made to suffer… But if you are faithful until you die, I will reward you with a glorious life.”

Revelations 2:10 CEV

So here I go again, although not alone. Going down the only road I’ve ever known, which is unfortunately the hard way instead of easy street. But in the midst of it, I will sing songs of praise, even through the tears, carrying me through my days of pain, because that, my friends, is faith. Faith is believing without seeing the entire course mapped out. Faith is trusting with obedience, even when sin tempts us otherwise. Faith is receiving the grace He offers without grumbling about the process. Following, in faith, all the days of our lives, until that day when we are called home and given the ultimate prize. This is His promise. While it may not be easy, it certainly beats alternative, don’t you agree?